Fitness Coach Holly Baxter Reveals How Faith Led Her to Self Love

We often think attraction is all about looks, but what if it's deeper than that? On today's episode of It Starts With Attraction, Kimberly Beam Holmes sits down with fitness coach Holly Baxter for a candid conversation that will challenge everything you think you know about beauty, self-worth, and building lasting attraction. Holly reveals:

The Dangerous Side of Success: How achieving female bodybuilding goals paradoxically fueled her insecurities, low self-esteem, and an eating disorder. It was only by overcoming negative body image that she began to heal.

Attracting What You Are: The mindset shift from focusing on external appearance to cultivating inner strength, and how that changed the kind of people she attracted.

Faith, Fitness & Finding Purpose: Holly's journey to finding Jesus, how active faith and fitness helped heal past wounds, gave her strength in the face of divorce, and brought clarity to her life's purpose.

True Beauty: How ditching unrealistic societal pressures, embracing self-compassion, and focusing on self-love unlocked Holly's most vibrant, attractive self.

Body Image Battles to True Strength: Holly shares the practical tools she used to break free from the body image trap, the role of positive self-talk, and how true self-worth comes from within.

If you're ready to break free from those old insecurities, find fulfillment beyond external validation, and discover the real secret to captivating attraction, don't miss this powerful conversation. Holly's story is proof that no matter what challenges you face – whether it's low self-esteem, struggles with body image, or life transitions like divorce – there's a path to finding your strength, your purpose, and a deeper sense of self-love.

Holly's YouTube Channel: https://www.youtube.com/@HollyTBaxter 🔥
BiaBody Website: https://bia-body.com/ 🏃‍♀️
BiaFit App: https://bia-body.com/biafit/ 📱

Your Host: Kimberly Beam Holmes, Expert in Self-Improvement and Relationships


Kimberly Beam Holmes has applied her master's degree in psychology for over ten years, acting as the CEO of Marriage Helper & CEO and Creator of PIES University, being a wife and mother herself, and researching how attraction affects relationships. Her videos, podcasts, and following reach over 200,000 people a month who are making changes and becoming the best they can be.


Website: www.kimberlybeamholmes.com


Thanks for listening!


Connect on Instagram: @kimberlybeamholmes


Be sure to SUBSCRIBE to the podcast and leave a comment!

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:30

My value and my worth is in you know my physical appearance, that you know there are so many other incredible things that we are uniquely good at and that we are loved and cared for without you know having to have all of those things.

Speaker 2: 0:46

How did you find Jesus and how has that impacted your life?

Speaker 1: 0:50

I know I needed God in my life. I know it was like the gaping hole, the empty pit that I'd felt for years. So, regardless of who or how, you know I got there. You know you found a way to be with me when I asked. I think, embracing Jesus honestly, it has brought the most profound, significant, indescribable oh my God, I'm going to get like really emotional like just the most incredible changes to my life. Truly, it has given me like a sense of purpose. I can't imagine what this experience would have been like without having God in faith.

Speaker 2: 1:27

Today I'm talking with Holly T Baxter, who is an Australian-born dietitian who, honestly, has taken the social media world by storm. She has over 196,000 followers where she, on a regular basis, is teaching things about fitness and nutrition and all of the things in those fields, and she is amazing at what she does. She's a bodybuilder, she's a business owner. She owns a company called Be a Body that focuses on providing coaching specifically for females in the realm of physical therapy, fitness and nutrition. She's a powerhouse, for sure, but her success and her composure, her body fitness, like when you see her, you will see that she is quite a specimen and, as she would say, that is the least interesting thing about her. The most interesting thing about her is the fact that she is a strong, independent woman who loves other people and is really wanting to make a difference in the world.

Speaker 2: 2:30

In today's episode, we don't just talk about health and nutrition. That's actually the least that we talk about. We talk about her how she's overcome demons in her own life of not ever feeling good enough. How she's placed her value in her self-worth and her in succeeding and in looking good in the past, but recently she's completely changed that, and we also talk about how she's gone through a pretty hard divorce that she recently experienced, but how she's come out stronger on the other side. I believe you're going to learn so much from Holly today and that she's going to inspire you to make some changes in your life as well. Let's dive into today's episode. Holly, I am super excited to have you on the podcast today. I have been following your work and hearing you on other people's podcast for probably a couple of years now, and you are clearly a successful, beautiful, smart woman who's doing great things, especially in the realm of fitness. So thank you so much for joining me with your time today.

Speaker 1: 3:32

Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be on the show.

Speaker 2: 3:36

Yeah, I'll definitely link in the show notes to your YouTube channel and your website and all of those great things that you do in the health and coaching space, and it's definitely going to be a great resource for our female listeners who are really wanting to just focus on their physical part of attraction. But I thought for our conversation today we could actually dive into some things that you've been more open about in the past couple of years on your own YouTube channel and things that you've been talking about about your past and how you have really struggled with overcoming some demons and some negative thought patterns from growing up, and it's one of those things where it's like to look at you, someone would think how in the world could she think that she's not good enough? So what has that journey been for you, what has that process been for you and where are you today compared to where you were 10 or 20 years ago?

Speaker 1: 4:32

Well, I think I'll first say I feel like I'm unrecognizable compared to where I was, even as little or as few as five years ago. I guess I'll give you a little bit of background just for the listener, because I'm sure there are lots of people that don't really know a whole lot about who I am or what I do. But I guess, for some context, my background is in food science and nutrition, so that was my undergraduate. I went on and did a master of dietetics and kind of dived into, I guess, my own practice and, I guess, work as a clinical dietitian and I guess also grew up in a really sporty background. So I've always kind of had this passion and love for exercise and moving my body and unfortunately it kind of took a little bit of a wrong turn when I was young.

Speaker 1: 5:24

I guess I had a couple of really negative experiences and I don't know whether I'll go into all of that stuff today. But so much of my upbringing and the way that I was raised kind of, I think, led me to a path of a set of really unfortunate values, and I think a lot of these were mostly societal values, different ideals, and I think they often place a really narrow definition on what it means to be successful and I think they're largely based on lots of external factors your physical appearance, obviously, definitely your accomplishments, and then material possessions. So, being raised in that environment and I was also raised in an agnostic environment, so no faith, no religious upbringing I think I really just struggled with my self-confidence and I'd gotten a lot of validation and attention and praise as a young girl kind of being really sporty, also semi-academic I feel like I just was compelled to keep doing that and I found myself in the sport of bodybuilding just through some of the clientele that I was working with when I was a little younger and it really just fueled this dysfunctional narrative. I guess it served perfectly honestly. I guess, if you think about what bodybuilding is and that's kind of where I've spent the last at least 10 years of my career it really focuses on your external physique, like the whole judging criteria and the objectives are all about your physical appearance. So I think that pathway into bodybuilding kind of just fit. It allowed me to and enabled me to continue those negative thoughts. So I think for the longest time it did fulfill me. It gave me the ability to feel worthy and to feel validated and I think for a really long time my own perceived self-worth was 100% tied to how lean I was and how many shows I could win or what I was accomplishing in my career and in business. And I did really well. I think just genetically like my body frame and my athletic background kind of suited the sport and despite climbing to the top really quickly, I think from external sources people would probably assume like she's so successful she's done really, really well. But I also know on the inside I was totally miserable At the time I was struggling with an eating disorder and that had spanned 12 years.

Speaker 1: 8:04

At this point I was also struggling with on again, off again, like depression, and that was again mostly tied to my level of satisfaction with my physical appearance. And of course there's lots of other things that can kind of play into that. And I just remember it wasn't a once off event. I remember many times just feeling emotionally empty and soulless and lifeless and I remember sitting on the bathroom floor one day crying, and I remember I just perched.

Speaker 1: 8:35

I was in this horrible restrictive binge cycle relationship with food and exercise. I'm perjuring and I just decided I don't want to feel this way anymore. I'm so tired of being so unhappy and just I was so critical and judgmental of myself and I knew something really big had to change. So, yeah, I committed to what went on to be like five years of almost weekly therapy. I would say I probably only skipped, like the major holidays and things where my therapist wasn't available. She's like no Holly, but you know I have so much gratitude towards her because she easily played one of the most influential roles in me being alive and honestly thriving today. So, yeah, I think I would have very quickly traveled back down a very negative path that I barely even scraped through as a teenager. So that's amazing.

Speaker 2: 9:31

How did, how did you go about finding a therapist?

Speaker 1: 9:35

It was not without great difficulty.

Speaker 1: 9:38

I must have tried working with probably a half of a dozen therapists, men and women Some were when I still lived in Australia, two or three here in the US, and I think everybody's personality is a little bit different and I think this particular individual, just, you know, checked all the boxes for me.

Speaker 1: 10:00

You know she was, I guess, a personality type completely opposite to me, and I say that from the perspective that I was this, you know, high functioning, extreme perfectionist, you know, people pleasing individual that you know was really critical, and she was couldn't be more opposite. She was, you know, so compassionate and so kind and just had all the words, all the emotions that I don't think I'd really ever even explored, let alone like verbally said them. And so, you know she was, you know I used to call her a word whiz, I would ask her, you know how do I say this to somebody, and she'd be like, oh, you just say it, like this, and I'm like, oh, my God, that's amazing. So, yeah, it definitely took a little bit to find somebody, but yeah, she was wonderful.

Speaker 2: 10:51

You mentioned that in that sport of bodybuilding and the critiquing you would get the feedback, maybe even the highly controlled environment that you had to kind of put yourself into, like that was part of your journey, of what you had to overcome. How is it now like you're still incredibly fit, incredibly beautiful, but do you have the same feeling about yourself and that your worth comes from how well you perform or how good you look? Or have you been able to shift the way that you really think about yourself and show compassion to yourself?

Speaker 1: 11:31

Oh my gosh, absolutely, totally different mindset. Yeah, I think I've been able to kind of detach the sport and everything that it includes, everything that it encompasses. There is a lot of like when you're competing for a show and I mean I'm trying to get to the Olympia this year, so it's a really big commitment. Oh, absolutely. So. There is a lot of discipline, there's a lot of restriction, there is a lot of sacrifice and it is quite time consuming. But I think that I can view that now through a lens of okay, this is a sport, I'm very suited to this sport. I can obviously do it really well. But I also have learned to kind of detach my identity and value from that and that definitely didn't come easy.

Speaker 1: 12:20

It had there was a lot of intentional work, a lot of reprocessing and rewriting the narrative that I held up here. So I think a lot of that came from pushing back on some of those societal norms and recognizing that my value and my worth isn't in my physical appearance, that there are so many other incredible things that we are uniquely good at and that we are loved and cared for without having to have all of those things. So I know so much of the time and the work that I spent, at least, with my therapist was like cultivating self-compassion, lots of positive self-talk. I remember standing in front of the mirror and the negative part of my mind and the old belief systems would pick faults, criticize a little bit of body fat If I had a bad skin day or a bad hair day. We were just talking about that off here before.

Speaker 1: 13:23

I would let that consume my thoughts, I'd ruminate on it and I would really let it get to me and I realized the only person that is going to change this is you. I have to change my thoughts and those thoughts didn't often come naturally, like I had to go to books and audio and therapy to start kind of rewiring my brain and eventually, just with time, I think I was able to kind of recognize there are all these other wonderful things about you You're funny, you're so caring, you're really loyal, you're a giving person, you're intelligent, like all things that have nothing to do with your appearance. Yes, it's part of who I am, but I also I don't attach 100% of my worth to that anymore. I can see that it's just one small element of the things that make up who Holly actually is.

Speaker 2: 14:19

I can imagine that the women that you and your team coach when they first come to you, that they have this ideal of like I wanna look like you, I wanna look like you know, I was actually just talking to the producer. I was like trying to guess what your body fat percent was and I'm like I bet it's like half of what mine is right. These women come and they're like I wanna look like you and they probably don't even understand what that entails, like what the discipline, dedication day to day, in and out, and probably at the end of the day, many of the people they wanna look good, they wanna feel good in their own body, they wanna love themselves, right. But we look at someone like you and we say like, but that's what we're gonna compare ourselves to. Like you are the one all of us compare ourselves to.

Speaker 1: 15:09

Oh, and I'd love to push back on that. I would say don't strive for this. I mean, there's so many competitors these days and you know bikini competitions and things like that, and you know I love it when someone comes to me and they say you know, I'd love to do this, it's my 50th birthday coming up. You know I've always wanted to try and actually commit to this goal and I am all for it. You know I will obviously help people get there in the safest, most efficacious way, the most enjoyable way possible, and it's definitely there's a right way to do it and a very wrong way to do it, and I've obviously experienced all of those across my career. But yeah, right now I guess if there's anything that I can say to you know anybody that's listening that's like oh gosh, you know it'd be nice to get that lean.

Speaker 1: 15:51

There is a tipping point where you go from feeling really good, having a lot of energy you know having, you know, great performance, a great day in the gym, or you know, a really good class, whatever it is that you do, to the point where it now doesn't feel good anymore. It feels like a chore. And you know, bodybuilding is definitely on the extreme end of that spectrum and I say to all of my clients I mean I do this sport because I'm naturally kind of built to probably do really well at it, but it doesn't mean that it comes with no sacrifice. It is really hard. I mean, being at this level of body fat percentage and you ask, you know what might I be at at the moment? I think I'm probably sorry. My little kitten here is just trying to say hello, hi, it's cute. Yeah, my body fat percentage is probably around, I don't know, 11%, 10% at the moment.

Speaker 1: 16:44

But you know, for women, we are, you know, like innately meant to be this lean. You know, we start to see, you know, changes in our menstrual cycle and our hormone production. So I'm going to lose my period here, probably in the next couple of weeks because we're not meant to be that lean. You know the negative symptoms of dieting, you know from hunger obviously being the first and foremost, but the mood disturbances, the brain fog, the cognitive dysfunction, sex drive changes, energy reduction, performance decrements, it's. You know there's a lot more negative than there are positive. It might look cool and it's very impressive to see somebody that can withstand all of those. We'll call them hardships. I don't know that it's a physique that I would say is something everybody should strive for on their day to day, and I'm pretty clear with that when I, you know, talk to you know, the followers that are trying to learn about just how, to, you know, optimize their nutrition and training in general.

Speaker 2: 17:41

Yeah, and I love that you are so upfront about that, because it's not as you said, it shouldn't be everyone's goal and, to what you said earlier, there's so many other things that we should focus on in how we talk to ourselves and how we see ourselves that matter more than necessarily just how we look in pictures or what the scale says. But it's hard when society wants to tell us otherwise, as I'm sure you understand.

Speaker 1: 18:11

I know and I've always I've kind of had a little bit of in a turmoil about.

Speaker 1: 18:16

You know how much do I, you know, push and promote, because you know the last thing that I want is to set up this unrealistic expectation for somebody that this is the gold standard and what we should all strive for. So I think, compared to a lot of the competitors, I'm a little bit more choosy with what I share, at least on my like Instagram page, for instance. I'm not someone that does selfies. You will not see any pictures of me, you know, like just gawking at my body. It's more like everything that I do is very educational.

Speaker 1: 18:44

You know I'm doing posts about all kinds of health related topics and I'm fully clothed or I'm just, you know, talking and giving advice. So I'm definitely a little bit more mindful of how much screen time and just attention I give to like my body, because I don't want it to be my leading feature. You know I always joke and say if someone compliments my body, you know I can be appreciative of the compliment and recognize that they're also impressed with the discipline. But I'll say, you know, thank you so much, but it's the least interesting thing about me.

Speaker 2: 19:16

I love that.

Speaker 1: 19:17

Yeah, that's kind of my narrative.

Speaker 2: 19:19

I love that. I love that. That's fantastic. Over the past couple of years, you've also gone through a lot of changes and shifts in your life, and one of the ones that you've talked to some about has been that you went from growing up in an agnostic home to finding faith. What was that experience like for you, and how did you find Jesus, and how has that impacted your life?

Speaker 1: 19:44

Oh my gosh, I have got not enough positive words for this whole experience. So I think my journey to Jesus and how I found myself sitting in a church one day, unfortunately, was in no way a positive or a pleasant experience. It's actually a little bit difficult to kind of comprehend everything now, reflecting back on the experience, because, well, because of the amount of hurt and pain that was caused by the person that actually invited me initially to come and join a Sunday church service. But you know, I've made I've made a lot of peace with those memories and I think it's also just another really great example of how God doesn't always work in conventional ways. You know, and I know I needed God in my life. I know it's. It was like the gaping hole, the empty pit that I'd felt for years. So, regardless of who or how, you know I got there, you know he found a way to be with me when I asked.

Speaker 1: 20:39

So, yeah, I think, looking from the outside, I would probably assume that most people would have seen, like you know, how I portray myself as someone that was really happy, you know, and based on how quickly all of our businesses had grown and all those incredible experiences, I think, again, from a societal standpoint, lots of people probably thought, oh look, she's really successful. But I know, like I was in an extremely dysfunctional relationship at the time. I was wildly unhappy. So at the time obviously I was working through like my eating disorder and there was a lot of healing that had to go into, you know, that process. So it was a lot of past trauma and things that I needed to kind of step up and get through and honestly, that's the only way, like to go through sometimes, rather than kind of dance around it. And then at the same time you know this is right around the time when I had started going to church, I was also doing a lot of marriage counseling and marriage therapy and honestly, like everything in my life was falling apart quicker than I could keep up, honestly. So at least for the first bit of time that I spent initially in church, it was very teary. There was a lot of time praying for God to intervene and restore my marriage, but it was really interesting.

Speaker 1: 21:59

I think the more time that I spent in church, the more time I spent with God, with all of these like amazingly wise and kind, like humbled individuals. It just became really clear to me that there were just some other really big things, big problems that I knew I needed to address in my life, including my marriage. So I think, embracing Jesus, honestly it has brought the most profound, significant, indescribable oh my God, I'm going to get like really emotional Like just the most incredible changes to my life. Truly, it has given me like a sense of purpose, happiness and just faith that like I've never experienced before. So, yeah, I think the teachings and the scriptures, like they were so transformative. They helped me like lift my depression and I just found myself striving more and more just to align my behaviors with God and his teachings. Like it was truly, truly transformative.

Speaker 2: 23:04

I grew up in church, I grew up as a preacher's kid and one of the things I've thought so many times has been like your kind of story and your experience and just thinking through how, like, how amazing it must be to go from not knowing I mean, you know, you probably knew about, like, god and the general premise of the Bible, but like to meet and experience Jesus like as an adult with fully formed thoughts and the ability to have logic and the ability to doubt. Did you doubt like, especially growing up in an agnostic home? Like, as you really began to go to church, were there times when you were like, is this really real? Like, is this what I should believe? How did you process through that?

Speaker 1: 23:50

Yeah, it was so turbulent. I felt really pulled in many directions. I think, and it's interesting, I had a lot of conversations with some of our staff. You know, when I was first exploring, you know, going to church, and I was the one that was pushing back and I was the one that was, you know, putting the brakes on. You know the conversation around. You know there's this higher power and you know there's more to life than us and it's so interesting to, you know, fast forward and just see how things have changed.

Speaker 1: 24:27

I mean, I had to obviously read the Bible and get familiar with so many different concepts and like incredible stories, and I think, you know, it didn't take me very long, after just seeing the transformation that it had had on my, like, my mental health, to convince me otherwise. And just a few, a few miracles, shall we say, you know where I'd asked for something and it was like God just put it right there in front of me. So you know, it was just an incredible experience. But I was definitely, definitely skeptical and I guess, my background being in science, you know, I don't think it's as common for people with such, you know, logical, analytical minds to also believe in, you know the things that you can't see. You know to have blind faith over something that you've never been privy to like in flesh. So, yeah, I was definitely very skeptical, but it did not take me long. I just feel like it was the thing that I had been missing my entire life.

Speaker 2: 25:34

Oh, Holly, that's so powerful. How have you maintained your faith, even if in being in relationships or situations where maybe there's other people who haven't held the same faith that you have?

Speaker 1: 25:49

Well, it's been interesting.

Speaker 1: 25:50

I think I've been a little bit more considerate of my own values. You know, moving forward and again doing so much work on self development and trying to become a better person and, of course, trying to align everything that I do in line with God and what he's teaching, I have definitely learned to kind of attract those types of like-minded people. You know, previously that wasn't even a consideration and I think I've developed better standards for myself. I'm a lot more picky with whom I let in and out of my life and I've been so blessed with a relationship with a man who is also a Christian and you know he was raised, you know, in a Christian family and I think I just got really lucky. So, you know we now go to church together. You know we do readings together and I think we're just kind of spending more time with people like that and I have been and introduced to so many like wonderful people, which I think has just kept me going through all of the stress that I'm sure we'll probably talk about here in a minute.

Speaker 2: 27:00

Yeah, that's the next question on the list. You have gone through a divorce and kind of public, a kind of public divorce which had to be stressful in and of its own rights. Can you talk about some of those challenges that you went through personally and professionally in that in your divorce, and how you came back stronger?

Speaker 1: 27:26

Yeah, so it has been difficult. I think when you are semi in the spotlight or at least all of our businesses are, you know, on social media, it makes it really difficult. But I have been asked this question or similar questions a number of times, so I've had a little bit of time to think about the best way to answer this without kind of going into all the details. And honestly, like I said to you earlier, I don't know that there's a whole lot of benefit to the listener to share, like all of the specifics at least not without being hurtful to somebody else, which is just not in my nature. But I think one thing that I can say is that never in my wildest dreams would have I have imagined that the divorce would have led to such a shift and a turn of events. Honestly, it is like I'm still kind of speechless at what has happened since then and honestly I'm really grateful that for the last 18 months, from a financial perspective, that I was able to continue rebuilding like businesses from scratch on my own through that whole like divorce process, because it did go on for about 18 months. But in terms of how, like what, were the challenges? Personally, I think initially there was just a lot of grief and sadness and you know mourning the loss of what once was. And then, I think you know it switches and it becomes, you know, this experience of anger and you start to kind of piece together all of the potential warning signs. Or you know things start to make more sense and again I don't think that all falls on the other person. I think you know, in my case I can reflect and recognize that. You know, when we first met I had no confidence. I struggled with my own autonomy. I was a chronic people pleaser and you know, I think I can recognize now that my true needs and values were completely diminished and to the point where I don't really even know who I was anymore, at least for most of that marriage. So you know I can say now, you know, hindsight's a wonderful thing, but it's no wonder that the marriage failed. You know our foundations were built on sand and rubble. So, yeah, I think it has definitely been challenging, with all the other things kind of going on At the same time in terms of business. And then you know, your entire, all of your relationships are impacted because you know, generally you kind of spend time together in groups. So there's usually, you know, a parting of ways with some friendships too. So that's always really difficult. But I also feel like I'm in a better place because I am not the same person that I was, you know, at age 26.

Speaker 1: 30:14

To where I am now, I think, you know, with my, I guess, newfound faith and a different set of values and beliefs. I think that's also meant there's a lot of changes with the types of people that I spend time with. So I'm kind of I'm okay and I'm at peace with the changes that have happened. I know it's been really hard, very lonely, but that's okay, you know. I think it's an opportunity to kind of rebuild and start again.

Speaker 1: 30:39

So, yeah, I think, on a slightly more positive note, I think the personal growth of the marriage, with opportunity though that presents itself at the end of a relationship, and that's not just like romantic relationships.

Speaker 1: 30:50

There could be friendships, anything, family members, relationships that you have with your siblings. I know, you know I had been in therapy for so many years and I was in a fierce pursuit for self-development and self-growth. And again, I just I know that during that time, by the end of our marriage, I was a completely different person. I was so much stronger, I was so much more confident, I was wiser and I feel like I was finally like the most unapologetic version of me. And I think, the more that I was growing in my faith, the more I started to see that like the foundations, and perhaps even like our daily motivations and the drivers of why we got up in the morning, they were fundamentally very different. And that's okay. I think it was the right decision. So, as hard as all these changes have been, I can also, you know, see the silver lining. You can try to make something work, but with such stark differences in values, I knew that it was important to just be able to move on from that.

Speaker 2: 32:01

Yeah Well and you mentioned that you had gone to marriage counseling and therapy, and so it seems like there had been an effort to try and make it work from both ends. You went through a lot. I mean, it was all kind of around that same time that you were facing your eating disorder, battling the demons in your own head, going through the end of a relationship, losing or not being a part of the business, as you were starting your own again. Like you, you kind of went through all of it at one time.

Speaker 1: 32:33

Yeah, definitely. I mean I don't know. I do know how I got through this. It's the big guy. I mean I can't imagine what this experience would have been like without having God and faith. Honestly, I it would have been a very different experience and I who knows?

Speaker 1: 32:51

But, yeah, I, I would definitely be lying if I said that it wasn't absolutely gut wrenching to lose everything or have everything taken that I had poured my heart and soul into for like six years and essentially gone overnight and then to have to bear the weight of, like rebuilding everything from scratch. I mean, it has been very heavy, but I will say I think again, and by by the grace of God, I, I know that my positive attitude and again, it hasn't always been that way. I've always been optimistic and, you know, driven and, like I have had a lot of self-discipline, but I think, more than ever you know my confidence as that grew, that truly. And I think also, just like this unwavering I don't know where it came from this unwavering ambition like to, to, to succeed in my career and business adventures, that that has been so, so important in kind of getting through all of this. Yeah, I feel like you know when you, you know your God given purpose and you have a crystal clear vision, and when you align yourself with the right people who share the same values and the goals and I truly think the people that are in this team that I have right now.

Speaker 1: 34:12

We're an all female team. We have just some amazing women, you know, from behind the scenes, from our administration to the coaches that are changing the lives for other women. I mean, you know, I think we're all very aligned and have very synonymous mission. So I think that combination of things, you know it, really brings meaning to your life and I think that's something else that I felt like I was missing previously. So, honestly, I feel like I have been given a new shot at life and to do this like the only way that I should have ever done it in the first place. But you know, all those experiences have made this even that much more fulfilling and I truly feel like that is what defines success. It's like finding the right people and doing the thing that you were called to do.

Speaker 2: 34:59

If you, if we, were to be sitting here 70 years from now, when both of us are, because I saw your age on your, on your website, we're the same age. So both of us are 104 years old, 70 years from now. What, oh my God? What would you want to say? That your legacy is that you have left?

Speaker 1: 35:22

Oh gosh, what would I want my legacy to be? That is such a difficult question. I know that it would have roots in like don't compromise your values. Like be your authentic self and like be honorable, do it with integrity, be passionate, like you need to find those things and if you're currently doing something in your life or maybe you know it's not your career, it's related to you know the relationships that you have, whether it's romantic or friendships. You know you always have a second chance and the capacity to change.

Speaker 1: 36:03

I know where I've come from and I. You have to be willing to do the work, you have to be willing to invest in, you know, making the shift in your narrative and you have to be willing to make some sacrifices in the time to change your thoughts. But you know, if there is anything that you are unhappy or unsatisfied with in your life, you can change, and I don't think there's enough women screaming that from the hills that you know anything is possible. So I don't know that that's a legacy, but that's just my view on life, and I know that a lot of people just struggle with feeling like they're enough or they're worthy, and I mean, I've come from that place and you can very quickly undo that with a little bit of focused effort.

Speaker 2: 36:51

Absolutely. How do you avoid getting burnt out? I don't know if I avoid it very well.

Speaker 1: 37:00

So at the moment I am in this kind of I guess we'll call it a sprint that's been going for about six years.

Speaker 2: 37:08

That's a long sprint, Holly.

Speaker 1: 37:12

So yeah, but truly is. I think as soon as I got off the plane and moved to the US, it was like all right, learn how to be a step parent check. Okay, let's start businesses. Okay, let's start three businesses. Okay, let's build a career in bodybuilding. Okay, now let's start all over again and do it this time with a different group of people.

Speaker 1: 37:29

So I don't know that, for me, I will ever have the capacity to want to slow down or stop evolving. I think the speed of the accelerator might kind of waiver a little bit. But right now I am being a little bit more mindful, I guess, of how much time I'm spending doing social things, how much time I'm allowing my energy to be taken. So I'm very, very cautious of who I give my time to even down to. I might have a good friend say do you want to come and work out with me today? And I know that if I'm already kind of mentally sitting at 95% from a really stressful week or a busy week, it might be the time that I just say, no, I'd love to work out with you, but I think I just need some me time. So I've gotten better at giving myself a little bit of space and recognizing that I can't do it all. So I've learned to get a little bit more, apply a bit more of a balanced approach to my social life, knowing how busy and involved all of our business ventures are.

Speaker 1: 38:42

I don't know that. Sleep has been something I've done very well lately and I know I'm such a big advocate for getting a good night's sleep and quality sleep. I have also come to terms with recognizing that right now sleep is not as good as I would like it to be, but I also know it's not forever. What else do I do for keeping sane and not burning out? I have a lot of people in my team that are the breaks. I am 100% the accelerator. I put the gas pedal on and the throttle is on the floor all the time.

Speaker 1: 39:17

So I was very specific and selective in choosing a director of operations for our company that was a little bit more cautious. So I think having those types of influences in your life to kind of slow you down and remind you of this idea of balance has been really important, and I think also just listening to education and reading about finding balance though there never really is one true thing that defines it, but it looks a little different for everybody, but I think, just giving myself those kind of gentle reminders, and there will be times where I can sit up until two o'clock to get something done, and then other times I now I'm a little bit more compassionate and I'll say okay, it's 1130, you are feeling tired, go to bed. So yeah, I think I've just softened my gas pedal a little bit more, at least over the last 18 months.

Speaker 2: 40:18

Which can be hard for very driven people, for sure.

Speaker 1: 40:22

It really is, but you know it's interesting. I think we can tolerate a lot, but I also know the serious and negative consequences of pushing all the time and I know, after this next project that we finished. We've got an app that's just about to launch, a fitness app, an AI, which is very exciting, but I know once that's done, everybody in my team is like Holly, no more projects, give me a little bit of free room. And I'm like, okay. So I have a wonderful group of supportive people that keep me in check.

Speaker 2: 40:56

It's good. It's good to have many of the people Well, the reason that people listen to this podcast, my focus, is focusing on the four main areas of becoming our best self physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually. How do you continue to work on yourself, especially in the sprint you've been in in the past six years? How do you maintain focus in those four areas of your life, even when life gets hard?

Speaker 1: 41:21

So I think once upon a time I used to have this, I guess ideal that they would all be equal and balanced. So if you're looking at, I guess, a circle and you were filling up the circle, it'd be a perfect pie chart with four. And I think I've also I've learned to adapt and become a little bit more flexible in how much effort I'm pouring into each of those at any one time. I recognize that sometimes I can't do them all. Sometimes the area that I'm in I can't do them all, sometimes the area that is completely neglected for a week might be my spiritual health. But then I'm cognizant of that and I feel that so the following week I might kind of shift back and I apply a little bit more time here. I do a little bit more reading, I spend more time listening to different sermons and things to fill up that cup and bring that back as something that's present in my life now. So I think I adapt to, I think I'm being and flowing across each of those different like important domains and yeah, I think it is really hard.

Speaker 1: 42:30

I think you I don't know that I do it successfully. I think I'm conscious of it. So you know, if you want to make improvements in an area, you have to be so intentional. I even just said the other day to my partner I think I'd probably like to actually get back in and do a little bit of therapy. Probably six months where I haven't felt like I've needed to, but just a few things recently I was like you know what? I think it's probably time for me just to kind of explore that. Like I'm really curious why this thing's bothering me. So you know I will, like I'll make the time to do that. So yeah, I think, as long as you are self-aware and recognize you know the cup might be starting to get a little bit empty, that you know how to kind of shift and pivot your focus, that's about the best that we can do. So, but being aware of it, I think, is probably the most important thing.

Speaker 2: 43:19

Do you have any one thing that you have to do every day?

Speaker 1: 43:27

This is really cheesy. I love elevations, church, sorry. Every morning, yeah, I think while I'm getting ready I will listen to gosh. It could be a sermon from I don't know 10 years ago, but almost every morning I listen to something that you know is spiritual. It like fills up the cup, it starts my day and, honestly, it's so positive. I think. If I do forget which is very rare those are the days where I'm like, oh gosh, I missed that this morning. How did I even? How did that happen? So? But that's one of the things that I do pretty religiously, and I also think, getting outside every day, if I can, for at least 15 minutes. I've been very fortunate to go for beach walks at the moment because I'm trying to do this prep, so I walk on the beach every morning, with some beautiful palm trees Also does the trick in just setting me up for a really good, good, positive day.

Speaker 1: 44:21

Even if you get a stressful email from somebody, it's hard to kind of dampen that. When you've got, you know when you can be so grateful for all the things that are currently like right in front of you.

Speaker 2: 44:32

So yeah, I would love to wake up and be near a beach to go and walk on or just look at. I actually don't love the sand, but I love.

Speaker 1: 44:46

Everybody has a love-hate relationship with the beach. It's like, it looks beautiful, it sounds nice, but no one actually wants to get Exactly.

Speaker 2: 44:53

No one really wants to go on it.

Speaker 1: 44:56

Well, you know what, if anyone wants a nice beach holiday, oh my god, fort Lauderdale, which is where I relocated to it is Stunning, so really. Yeah, fort Lauderdale Florida may have to go.

Speaker 2: 45:07

may have to go and check it out. My, although we just went to Orlando to Universal, like a couple weeks ago, and I said I'm not going back to Florida for a while, there were so many people, holly, there were so many people. I can't handle this.

Speaker 1: 45:22

Yeah, well, especially there as well, that's like a popular tourist destination. I could agree with that, I think. Get to the sleepy beach towns, that's where it's at.

Speaker 2: 45:34

That's the key. Well, Holly tell us more about where our listeners can find you and about how you help women to To feel strong, to love themselves and to love the bodies that they're in.

Speaker 1: 45:48

Absolutely so. I guess our company is called be a body. We have an incredible team of all females who work with a breadth of different areas of interest. So we have physical therapists. We have women that specializing Working with ladies over 40 that are going through menopause, that are experiencing some hormonal changes and shifts in their life. We work with competitors. We work with Jen pop of all ages, so we have a quite an impressive team of women here. So Be a body comm is where you can find us, and that's be a BOD why? For anything that I do. If you're interested in learning about, I guess, the science behind nutrition, then you can find me at Holly tea Baxter on Instagram and YouTube. I spent a lot of time just educating, so you'll be hard pressed to find something that's not going to give you a lot of value. So go and subscribe to those channels. You'll learn a lot and it's completely free.

Speaker 2: 46:49

That's very true. You have a ton of great content, and can you give us a bit of a teaser about this AI fitness app that is coming soon?

Speaker 1: 46:59

So we obviously I previously had, I guess, a training program. It was a web-based program and, of course, in in the separation I didn't keep that. I was like, okay, I'll start again, which has been great. So we actually decided to create an app this time and we wanted to incorporate some AI technologies. So the platform is primarily suited for women.

Speaker 1: 47:20

We have all kinds of different programs for different goals. So we have our strength based goals. We have exclusive muscle building or hypertrophy programs. We have hybrids, so ladies that want to test their strength but are also like nice do wouldn't mind just kind of buildings and muscle. We have cardio programs. We have strength and mobility. We have an incredible physical therapist who's gone through and put together some incredible Programs to keep people flexible and mobile and also rehab various injuries. So we have a great span of different types of training options available and I guess our version two.

Speaker 1: 47:58

So once we launch, we will launch with, I guess, all of our MVP features and then we are going to start working on the AI component. So that's basically an integrative coach. So I don't know of any to this point that have a back-end algorithm that like craft the workout exactly to your needs. So we're working with a specialist team that basically Will help us put together programs based on all of your unique input. So it'll use data that you've entered in from previous training programs to kind of curate your new you know, six week mezzocycle, your training block. It can integrate with different injuries. If you're struggling with something, it can provide exercise alternatives. It really it's like a coach for your training, obviously without me, without the but the high cost. So we're very excited. We've got a team of brilliant, I guess, developers, and then we we have the, the front-end exercise scientists that are involved, myself included.

Speaker 2: 49:01

So that's amazing, and that's through bio body as well, or be a body as well.

Speaker 1: 49:05

It's actually called be a fit, so there is a little bit of information about that on my website right now, but we are days away. I have the app in hand. We've been testing it, so I'm hopeful to have that out any minute.

Speaker 2: 49:19

Yes, oh, my goodness, that's very exciting. I'm for sure going to be looking into that.

Speaker 1: 49:26

You a subscription?

Speaker 2: 49:27

Yeah no, I for sure I'm. I am such a junkie for programming I I love working out. I hate doing programming myself. So anything that can just help me get to the goals that I'm wanting to get to without me having to put the process into it, I am all for.

Speaker 1: 49:45

Absolutely well, that's exactly what this does. It takes into consideration, like your weekly set number, your training volumes, how to distribute it equally across the week so that you're getting the most out of each session. Sorry, yeah, it's gonna be pretty cool.

Speaker 2: 49:58

Brilliant. Well, I know that you're incredibly proud of your team and, of course, all the hard work You've put into that in the vision of making it happen. Holly, you're fantastic. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I know the listeners are gonna benefit so much from the conversation that we've had. I really appreciate you.

Speaker 1: 50:15

Thank you so much for having me. It was. It was a lot of fun.

Speaker 2: 50:21

Here are my key takeaways from our conversation today with Holly Baxter.

Speaker 2: 50:26

I told you she is a fantastic. I loved speaking with her and just seeing someone who is in such a spotlight and who is typically only Known for one area of her life her fitness level and being able to see her and how she responds and how she's learned and how she's grown In so many different areas of her life. I really believe that she's an inspiration and I believe that many of the listeners to the podcast will find Inspiration from her story as well. Here are the three key takeaways that I had from my conversation with her. The first one is that there is a need to address the demons in your life head-on. You can't really change or see growth in your life if you refuse To truly address the things that are going to continue to hold you back. For Holly, she was pretty open about the fact that it was about what others thought of her. She was a perfectionist and a people pleaser who put a lot of her self-worth and her value into how she looked into what she ate and that had so many negative Consequences for her in her life. And it wasn't until she really chose to address those things head-on, that things began to change for her. So what is that for you? What are the things that you need to address that continue to hold you back, that continue to keep you up at night, that continue to lead you to make decisions that aren't really in line with the person that you truly want to be? How can you address them and how can you come out stronger the other side.

Speaker 2: 51:58

My second key takeaway from today's episode was when Holly talked about how there's an opportunity at the end of any relationship To choose how you are going to change and be better in the future. In fact, I just love the overall demeanor in which she spoke about her divorce. She was very clear that she didn't want to throw the other person under the bus. She didn't want to speak Detrimentally about them or disparagingly, and she really didn't even see any value to bring up a lot of the nasty parts of it. How many times in our life do we want to prove that we were the one that was right, justify our own actions and disparage another person when we feel like we were wronged? I thought she showed a lot of integrity in her response to that and brought everything back to her. She started talking about. This is the person I showed up as in our relationship and therefore I Needed to change. Even after the relationship ended, there was still work that I needed to do on myself and she did it. I think it's a great encouragement and a reminder that we have the ability, no matter what has happened, to choose to make ourselves better and to learn from the experience, even if we weren't necessarily the one in the wrong. All of us, all the time, can always do something to be the better person.

Speaker 2: 53:24

My third takeaway from today's episode was when she was talking about how Her focus on her pies the physical, intellectual, emotional and spiritual parts of her life Sometimes they ebb and flow. There have been seasons or sprints that she's been in, or maybe her focus has been more on one than another, but she's very conscious of the fact that if she puts a lot of effort into one on one week and not a lot of effort into another, then maybe the next week is the week to swing that pendulum back the other way. You don't have to address Working on your pies in a control freak fashion. You can look at it from a very Fluid sense. This week I'm gonna put a lot of effort into my intellectual attraction and then maybe next week it's gonna be a week of emotional attraction. Maybe that's a way that you want to approach it. The goal is that you use these four areas of working on yourself physically, intellectually, emotionally and spiritually To guide the decisions that you make and how you're intentionally Continuing to pour into yourself so that you can show up better for those that you love in your life.

Speaker 2: 54:33

I hope that you enjoyed today's episode and I would love if you would share it with someone who you believe would benefit. And I would love if you would make sure to hit the follow button on Apple podcast, spotify or wherever you listen to this podcast. If you're more of a YouTube person, then be sure that you hit subscribe on the YouTube channel so that you can always be notified when the newest content hits Also on YouTube. You may want to be sure that you're following us there, because a lot of these episodes we're taking clips out of and posting them as shorts, so if you missed an episode or if you want a reminder of some of the best parts of the episodes, then be sure that you're following on YouTube as well. Until next week, stay strong.