The All or Nothing Mindset is Ruining Your Diet - How To Actually Achieve Your Diet Goals

In this episode, we're diving deep into the truth about weight loss and fat loss, and sharing some of the most important lessons we've learned on our journey. We're going to be talking about our experiences with different diets, including whole 30, and how we've discovered the key to making sustainable changes that actually work.

We'll also be sharing our personal journey and the changes that we've made to improve our overall health and fitness. Plus, we'll give some tips on how to stay consistent with your goals and not get discouraged when the scale doesn't show the results you expect.

If you're looking to finally lose weight and keep it off, this video is for you! Be sure to like this video, subscribe for more content, and let us know in the comments what your goals are for the new year. Let's do this together!

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

The Way You Show Up is for the high-achiever who is tired of "fine."

We're dismantling the average life to build an exceptional one—using the science of the PIES: Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, and Spiritual health.

If you want to save your marriage, go to Marriage Helper. If you want to master yourself and lead your legacy, stay here.

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Transcript

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Effective Goal Setting for Personal Growth

Speaker 1 0:00

People are historically terrible at telling themselves the truth . It was when I stopped blaming everything and everyone else and really focused on me that change began to happen in my life .

Speaker 2 0:14

There needs to be planning , there needs to be preparation , there needs to be calculations and you need to track things and we need to know the data . And , by the way , guys , I eat McDonald's . On weight loss , I think yesterday or the day before I had two what's yesterday , two double quarter pounders . But I calculated for that . Front load , your protein , front load , your volume , foods like vegetables that are going to be low calorie , high volume .

Speaker 1 0:40

Getting the broccoli , the sweet potatoes , the carrots , the strawberries , the apples , the oranges . Like , our bodies need that as well .

Speaker 2 0:49

In the last year , my high on the scale was 222 . I'm 202 today . Psychological studies have found that when people have all or nothing mindsets , they are far less likely to adhere to the diet plan they've made for themselves .

Speaker 1 1:05

But when people eliminate super long time frames of not eating or major food groups , yes , you can lose a lot of weight , but the thing is you're going to gain it all back as soon as you go back to a normal way of eating .

Speaker 2 1:20

I highly encourage the listeners to take on a diet where you do you have a favorite food potato chips , burgers , cake , sweets , things like that . Where you don't say those go out the window .

Speaker 1 1:35

In this episode , we are going to be covering goal setting how to set goals , when to set goals , how do you choose what to set goals about ? So many things . But before we dive into that , I want to tell you about some changes that are happening to the it Starts With Attraction podcast . As always hopefully , you know me I have been the host of it Starts With Attraction for almost five years now . It started in April of 2020 . And it was born out of my super strong desire to provide teaching and content and encouragement and empowerment for people to work on becoming their best selves physically , intellectually , emotionally and spiritually .

Speaker 1 2:14

This is something that I am incredibly passionate about , and working on my pies has made the biggest difference in my life in several different scenarios over the decades .

Speaker 1 2:25

When I look back at the times where I felt the most anxious , the most depressed , the most helpless , it was when I stopped blaming everything and everyone else and really focused on me that change began to happen in my life , and so that's why this podcast started .

Speaker 1 2:42

For the past five years , I have been doing amazing episodes with guests such as Dr John Gottman , dr Will Cole , ben Higgins from the Bachelor . There have been a ton of really amazing people that I have been able to speak to , and I've also had episodes where it's just been me , or it's been me and my research team , or me and Jason , the producer of the podcast , that have been talking about research , about specific topics , and sometimes I've had my husband on , and some of the changes actually , the biggest change that you're going to see to it starts with attraction in order for us to give the best quality of content going forward is that there is a major , permanent change coming to the show and that is that I am no longer going to be the solo host of the it Starts With Attraction podcast . I am going to be hosting the show alongside with my co-host , rob Holmes , who is also my husband , in case you didn't know .

Speaker 2 3:44

It might not be so much of a permanent change . After this episode she might change her mind , I don't know . I think it would be good .

Speaker 1 3:51

Yeah , we've been talking about this for a while , and what our listeners don't know is that you have also had a really strong interest in things about attraction , although the topics have been a bit different than what my interests have been over the years , and so , before we get into the actual content of today's episode , talking about goal setting , I just wanted to share with the audience what changes they can expect to the show and some of the topics that we're going to cover over the next several I mean over this year and the years to come , but especially over the next several months so how the episodes are going to look different .

Speaker 2 4:30

You know that's a great question . I'm not 100% sure . I don't know with 100% certainty all the things I'll say or all the topics I'll bring up or what I'll say about various things up or what I'll say about various things . I do know that I have a commitment to self-betterment , self-growth . I think that's been the trend for the past decade , since I got out of the army and even before that . A little bit about myself I don't have an almost PhD like my wife . I only have a master's degree and that's in business and I she's the CEO , so ironically she's the one that has more business knowledge in spite of all that . But I am constantly looking for ways to get better , to know more , to do more , not just to add certificates on the wall or check boxes of things on a bucket list , but to actually do better , get better and grow . And that is my commitment , that's my passion , and so I just want to come on here with you and talk about that .

Speaker 1 5:40

Yeah , yeah , the areas in which I love to talk about that the listeners know . You know I've talked a lot about sleep , a lot about exercise , a lot about nutrition and things like that . You know we talked about things that cover emotional attraction , like things in the past have been how to handle when you've had , when you've experienced , trauma . We've had some episodes about PTSD , different things like that . So clearly are things that I've been passionate about and we'll still have episodes around that .

Speaker 1 6:08

But I think the interesting aspect that you really bring to the show is that you are also interested in attraction , but some different facets of it . So you've been really interested and reading a lot and doing your own research and study around , even just things like tone of voice , like more so with men , what makes men more attractive to women , how many times men should send text messages . So yours has been more of the things that you actually do differently , interpersonally , in some of those areas where mine has been more so focused on like here's what you like , here's the foundation to start from . You need good sleep , you need to eat right , you know x , y , z , and yours has been more of like what are things that women like actually find more attractive or what do ? How can we understand the female brain better ? How can we understand the male brain better and really understanding the connections between those two ? So I'm sure we'll have a lot of episodes having to do with that as well .

Speaker 2 7:06

Expect episodes that are specifically talking to men or women . So an episode specifically talking to ladies about certain things , An episode talking to men about certain things , I would highly encourage . You know , if it's an episode about men and you're a woman , still tune in Great information , I think , and vice versa . I would love to dive into some of that . I would also love to start maybe at the beginning of some episodes or maybe at the end of some episodes or throughout them , have like a recommended reading list . So you mentioned women's brains .

Speaker 2 7:40

Well , there's a book about women's brains . It's called the Female Brain and it's written by a lady who is a psychiatrist , so she's gone through medical school , she's gone through psychiatry , so she knows what she's talking about . Conversely , talking about men's brains , there's also a book for that . It's called the Male Brain and it's written by the same lady and it is phenomenal . So you know , I'm not specifically recommending those books right now , but in general I think it would be great to have episodes where we base it kind of around a book or a small group of books that talk to a certain subject .

Speaker 1 8:19

Yeah , and we hope to still have some interviews , like maybe getting that author on and doing a dual interview with her , or there might be episodes where you do an interview and I'm not on , or you're doing a topic and I'm not on . So it really is turning into a show that has two hosts that are going to guide it and also expand the types of topics that we're talking about and ultimately providing great content for the listener . That's our end goal for every single show . Is where is the practical application of what people can start doing today that they can take away in order to make themselves better and begin to work on their pies physically , intellectually , emotionally and spiritually ? And that's the goal .

Speaker 1 9:03

Yes we are committed to that . So goal setting , let's dive into the topic for today's episode .

Speaker 2 9:14

Okay , goal setting , I will hand it over to you . Okay , so let's say that NASA wanted to launch a satellite around to the other side of the sun and have it use the sun's gravitational pull to pull it back and slingshot it back toward earth . Okay , let's just hypothetically say that's what they want to do . Would it be better for them to take a rocket and kind of point it up into the air and look up at the sky and be like I think that'll work , all right , let's shoot it . And then they just , you know , they just kind of shoot it up in their eyeball .

Speaker 2 9:56

Or would it be better that they have their team of NASA scientists and physicists , probably with the aid of quantum computing , calculate very precisely exactly the trajectory they want it to go ? And even then some things could go wrong . I think we all know the answer is obviously they're going to go with the latter option . It would defy common sense . They'd waste billions of dollars , billions of dollars .

Achieving and Maintaining Healthy Weight

Speaker 2 10:25

When we go about our goal setting , we often go with that first method . So let's talk about the most common new year's goal setting resolution . You guys know what it is . It's I want to lose some weight . Right , I want to lose some weight .

Speaker 2 10:46

I think most people in their lifetime have experienced unwanted weight gain and most people have been able to get a few pounds off using different methods Intermittent fasting , whole30 , ketogenic diet , low carb , adkins , etc . Etc . Etc . A carnivore . There are a lot of things you can do and you'll typically lose . Depending on where you're at . You'll lose 10 , maybe 15 pounds and if you really stick with it and you're really committed and you really just you know you make it a new way of life , you may lose a lot more than that and get into good shape .

Speaker 2 11:26

But that's kind of a shooting from the hip method . I'm not saying don't do keto . I'm not saying don't do Whole30 . Whole30 is great . I've lost weight on it . But if you want to know for a matter of fact what you can expect from weight loss over a course of time , as well as ultimately maintain as much muscle on the way down as possible Because most people's real end goal isn't just to drop 15 pounds If we were to go do a street interview in Nashville and go up to random people and say , hey , if I had a magic genie and could make you lose 15 pounds right now , would you say yes ? Probably 90% of people would be like yes . Now , if I switch the question up okay , now all 15 pounds of that is going to be muscle . The answer is very few people would say yes .

Speaker 1 12:22

Hopefully , hopefully , very few people would say yes , some people might say yes .

Speaker 2 12:25

Anyway , the real goal for most people is to look better , to feel better and to be healthier , which , based on common sense , necessitates preserving as much muscle mass as possible and losing as much adipose tissue as possible .

Speaker 1 12:39

Or fat .

Speaker 2 12:41

Fat . Sorry , adipose tissue is fat .

Speaker 1 12:43

Yes , yes .

Speaker 2 12:44

Adiposity Fat , and to do that you have to do certain things and thankfully , unlike nasa , you don't have to be like on the gram precise with your calculations . You just need to be in the ballpark of what makes sense . The way I do it is , and if you have a smartphone , you can look for an app . It could be MyFitnessPal . There's so many different apps . The one I use is called Macros First , not paid to recommend it . It is just as good or not good as all the others . It's very simple . You type in what your goals are for protein , carbs , fat . Don't worry too much about carbs and fat if you are trying to lose weight , because ultimately , what's going to matter is that you set a protein goal that exceeds 0.8 grams of protein per pound of body weight and you set a calorie restriction that is in the neighborhood of about 500 calories .

Speaker 1 13:47

So for a 200 pound person , 200 times 0.8 is going to be 160 grams of protein , and so I'm trying to get okay . So we want to put that and then we want to figure out what our daily calorie needs are and take off around 500 .

Speaker 2 14:08

Yes , and there are calculators for that . The cool thing MyFitnessPal macros . First , if it is a calorie counting app or a macro counting app , they almost certainly have metrics by which you can calculate your metabolism . By which you can calculate your metabolism . I would caution the listeners to be very realistic because it's going to have you put in information your age , your weight , your height , your zodiac sign , your favorite color , your favorite Pokemon and then , after you talk about all of that , it's going to spit out . It's going to ask you your exercise level . This is where you need to be honest with yourself and others . After you tell your exercise level , it's going to spit out a number . If you say that you are moderately active , which means that you work out three to five times a week , but you walk about three times a week , that's not going to be a good indication of where you're actually at . So you have to be realistic . You have to be honest with it . When it spits out a number , it's going to recommend you take off about 500 calories , just like I would , per day . They say that's going to equal about a pound of body fat a week . I disagree . I think the way people calculate a pound and the calories in it . They often say it's like 3,500 calories . I've heard some spit out 3,600 calories . When you take a pound and you convert it to grams and you convert those grams , which are fat , into calories nine calories per gram of fat you're going to get a number that's a little bit north of 4,080 . So a little bit under 4,100 . So I usually round to about 4,100 calories for a pound of fat loss . So you need to burn through about approximately 4,100 calories to get a pound of fat loss .

Speaker 2 16:11

That's kind of the ballpark and there are things you can expect along the way . So you should expect a few things . One it's going to be kind of boring , kind of monotonous . You'll find yourself eating a lot of the same meals . You'll find yourself preparing a lot of the same food . You'll find yourself getting tired of it . And you'll need to do this day in and day out , month in and month out day . And I would caution most people to not exceed six months , even if you haven't met your goal yet . You need to kind of after the six-month mark , even if you haven't met your goal , don't abandon your goal . Simply say okay , my goal is still my goal . I'm not there yet , but my body is going to need a maintenance period of time to recover .

Speaker 1 17:11

many experts recommend that you spend just about as much time recovering as you spent dieting no less than two thirds yeah , because our bodies aren't made to live in a calorie , live in a calorie deficit , and I think that's what a lot of people like normally , because we eat a lot of food , because our culture and our society and our food is created to where it's highly like we crave it I love food and junk food food that's easy food that's easy to overeat , right , and so you know , eating all of that is easier to gain weight , even though we may not actually be eating enough nourishing food .

Speaker 1 17:52

So we're overeating and we're constantly in this mindset in general as a society of like I need to lose fat , I need to lose weight , and so it's this mindset I feel like it's always a mindset of people who are just constantly feeling like they should be dieting , but that's not true . You should be eating healthy , nourishing foods . That gives you , in fact , like . One way to look at it is you want to eat the maximum amount of calories that you can while maintaining your current weight . That's because then that gives you the best energy expenditure .

Speaker 2 18:23

As long as your current weight's healthy .

Speaker 1 18:25

Right , as long as your current weight's healthy . So right

Calorie Tracking for Weight Loss

Speaker 1 18:33

Like I . For me I would not cut 500 calories a week out of my diet because that's pretty aggressive . Yeah , that's a pretty aggressive weight loss and for me I don't want to . I don't want to do it that quickly . I would rather cut 300 calories a week , or , you know , probably 300 is it's not 300 a week , it's 300 a day a week . Or , you know , probably 300 is it's not 300 a week , it's 300 a day . I'd rather cut 300 calories a day and lose weight slower , but I know that I'm more likely to adhere to that .

Speaker 2 18:59

You raise a great point . You said , and I quote I don't want to .

Speaker 1 19:05

I don't want to .

Speaker 2 19:09

I don't want to Look if 500 calories a day is too aggressive . And you don't want to Look if 500 calories a day is too aggressive and you don't want to start by just seeing if you can maintain what your body weight is . That way , if you have been in a season of life where you just keep seeing the scale slowly inch its way up week in and week out and you're really discouraged by that , eat at what is a calculated maintenance for a month and see , well , do I plateau , do I flatline and have I stopped gaining weight ? Another tip I would point out to people is in the first week when I decided like okay , I'm going to have to start tracking everything I eat , and that's a big deal that takes . That's an arduous task .

Speaker 1 19:52

Yeah .

Speaker 2 19:54

I decided that the first week I was not going to restrict calories at all .

Speaker 2 19:59

I was going to eat whatever I wanted , whenever I wanted , however much I wanted , which is how I had been eating , unfortunately , up to that point , and I was just going to log everything . So the first exercise for me was a mental one of simply logging every single thing I ate . If I had cream in my coffee , I would measure it out and I would put it into the app and log it . And so you need a food scale , you're going to need to measure everything out , you're going to need to measure everything out , you're going to need to log it and just meticulously , for a week , log every single thing you eat , every calorie , every bite , every . If you take supplements in the morning , I scan the barcode on the supplement . It punches it into the app for me Boom Done and you'll get good at it . And it only takes like a week to get good at it . And it was looking at those numbers . I was like I'm eating between 28 and 3200 calories a day on .

Speaker 2 21:04

Even for a man my size , that's a lot and not working out not working out , at least not enough um and you were gaining weight yeah , and I was a season of gaining and I was like whoa and I and I looked at the protein macro and it was on average . I thought , because I'm a guy who loves steak and burgers and stuff like that , I thought , well , obviously I'm getting pretty good amount of protein . At least I was averaging maybe 100 grams a day .

Speaker 1 21:35

That is very low for anyone especially .

Speaker 2 21:38

Especially a man who's over 200 pounds . So I average , I think , over 170 a day now .

Speaker 1 21:47

You have to be really intentional about that , and that's the other part of this . Is that , listen , I don't like logging my food as much as the next person , because it's for all the reasons we've said . It's arduous . There's a there's a mindset of mine that's like but we weren't made to log every single calorie that we eat , but also we were made to eat food that wasn't made to eat the food that we eat ?

Speaker 1 22:10

yeah , exactly so . In some ways it's like we . It's actually getting our brain to understand what we , what we are putting into our bodies , and I think it's a really good learning experiment . The other part of it is that people are historically terrible at telling themselves the truth .

Speaker 1 22:30

Yeah , so when , like in research it it like every time , pretty much every time , that someone is doing research on a group of people where they're asking them to log their food , the people will log , will under report 25 to 30 percent of their calories . And so people think , like , unless you are actually doing what you said measuring , weighing , ensuring that it is equal to what you are putting into your body and even then it's still hard because you can't accurately track if you're eating a homemade meal that someone else cooked , you're guessing on some of those items . So even then people might be under or over reporting a bit . But most people they'll say , oh , I ate 2000 calories , but really they ate 2,500 . And that is notoriously when people say I am telling you 98% of the time . When people say , but I am dieting , I'm tracking my calories and it's I'm still not losing weight , it is because they are not truthful with themselves about how much they're actually eating .

Speaker 2 23:38

Yes , that is such a good point . Oh , my goodness , let me tell you guys a story .

Calorie Tracking for Weight Loss

Speaker 2 23:47

I like my morning coffee . I am not a black coffee guy , at least not until recently . I would put my cup under the Keurig . I would start the process . It heats the water up . In the interim , I get cream of some sort out of the fridge . I kept telling myself well , I don't put sugar into my coffee , I just put cream , no big deal .

Speaker 1 24:19

A healthy dose of cream .

Speaker 2 24:20

A healthy dose of cream . A healthy dose of cream to the point it was unhealthy . And I would tell myself , eh , you know , that's 50 , maybe I'm pushing it . 100 calories , not a big deal , it's just 100 calories . What's 100 calories ? When you limit yourself to 2,100 calories a day or less , 100 calories starts to become a big deal .

Speaker 2 24:46

I did not realize and I was not measuring , I was guesstimating . Don't guesstimate a single thing you take in unless you absolutely must . And I'll get to that here at my next point the guesstimation , unless you absolutely must . But if you don't have to guesstimate , if you have your food scale there , put a little dish on the scale . I actually put the coffee cup on the scale while the water is brewing . I put the cup on the scale while the water is brewing . I put the cup on the scale , I zero it out and I just I drip the cream in there until it is the serving that I want .

Speaker 2 25:18

Food labels are allowed to be 20% off on their data . We're already dealing with imprecise data from the get-go . Don't make it more imprecise by swagging and guessing . Do it down to the gram if you can . If you actually go one gram over , just make it one gram under next time that's not a huge deal or milliliters in the case of creamer . But be precise . Measure everything out . If you want sugar in your coffee , great . Figure out how much sugar is in the sugar packet or how much sugar you're going to put in there . Weigh it out on the scale , log that and then consume . So how much ?

Speaker 1 25:59

how many calories were in your coffee that you thought was 50 to 100 no less than 200 per cup .

Speaker 2 26:07

Yeah , now that , now that I realize how much , and because I never precisely measured it , I can't tell you for sure .

Speaker 1 26:12

You didn't have a way to know what two tablespoons was .

Speaker 2 26:16

When I finally measured out the creamer and all the things that calculated the calories , I was amazed at how little I was able to put into the coffee . It was amazing To the point of swagging and guessing data .

Speaker 1 26:34

Okay .

Speaker 2 26:35

You will get better . As you log more food , you'll gain experience and after a certain period of time , you may not need to log anymore .

Speaker 1 26:45

Right , because you .

Speaker 2 26:46

You've logged for a period of time , you've gotten used to . I can eat this much . I know what it feels like , I know what it looks like , I know what meals I can eat and after maybe a year , maybe more , it depends on who you are and what you're doing and what your goals are . You may be able to stop logging things so meticulously and still lose a lot of weight . But when you start , you've got to know You're not just going to you start . You've got to know You're not just going to point the rocket up into the air and just launch it out there . There needs to be planning , there needs to be preparation , there needs to be calculations and you need to track things .

Speaker 1 27:20

You need to know the data . Yeah , you recently did a calculation . You texted me and you're like I figured out how much . I overate per day the past , whatever Tell us about that .

Speaker 2 27:32

So I calculated what my body weight was when I was 18 . And then , at the time I did that calculation , I calculated that body weight . I then did further math and I figured that through the years , since the age of 18 , I had eaten an excess of 26 calories per day on average . That isn't entirely representative of the entire journey , though I did not eat , obviously , precisely 26 calories excess per day every day during that time . There were times where I blew up to 245 . There were times I went from 245 down to 200 , currently at 202 . So I'm not , you know it's . It's one of those things where , depending on the snapshot and time that you take , you can calculate how much have I overeaten on average in this time period , based simply on the weight , and it was . It was eye-opening to see how little you can overeat every day and then over the years that adds up . So if you're a listener and you're in your 40s , 50s , you're probably like , wow , yeah , preach , what were you saying ?

Speaker 1 28:50

well , I was gonna say that , and thinking about the holidays , I think that that there's no , it's no surprise that people want to lose fat going into the new year , because you've just come off of halloween , thanksgiving , christmas in our family , there's every birthday under the sun in that time as well , so it's just a ton of eating and celebration and , and so , going into the new year , it's like I've gained weight , like you feel it , and it's just . I mean , one of the things I heard years ago was you like the couple of pounds that people as a whole gain over the holiday season that they don't lose Well , over 10 years ? That adds up if it's two pounds a year , yes , that's 20 pounds in 10 years that you've gained . And and it's not just about the looks of it , it's not about , you know , we feel frumpy , we look frumpy , whatever it's .

Speaker 1 29:43

Our body doesn't run as well we can become metabolically . I mean , this is where metabolic syndrome comes in , where everything begins to slow down . Our metabolism isn't as healthy as it could be . We can begin to have like we get sick quicker , all of these things because we're carrying around extra fat . Yes , and so that's really the key of it . The looks of it is one thing , it's the way your body functions is the complete other . And so , while all of this is not what people like , people want to look better and maybe they want to be healthier because they've gotten a recent diagnosis or whatever . It's going to be hard work . There is no magic pill . Ozempic is not going to be the answer .

Speaker 2 30:30

That is great points all around . So much to talk about and address . First things first . Six months ago my cholesterol , all the bad cholesterol , clocked in at approximately double the healthy , the maximum healthy range . So my cholesterol was approximately double what it should have been . My triglycerides also kind of a measure in that family , close to double what they were supposed to be . My blood pressure was , was borderline . I mean I had so many things and that's and that's me just 20 pounds more than I am now . More recently I had a lot of those metrics measured again . My cholesterol is now just barely , but still in healthy ranges . Triglycerides , same thing . They're at the high end of what's healthy and normal and acceptable , but they're within that range . Just losing some weight and , by the way , guys , I eat McDonald's on weight loss . I think yesterday or the day before I had two was yesterday two double quarter pounders , but you but I calculated for that .

Speaker 2 31:38

I met my protein goal . I stayed under my calorie goal . You have to meet or exceed your protein goal and you have to meet or come under your calorie goal . We just came out of the holidays . So many of you are very aware and familiar with and thinking about what do I do when I go to a family dinner . I didn't cook the food . I don't know what ingredients they use . The person who did it didn't just meticulously track Ain't . No way we're going to go to your mother's house tonight for dinner and that's going to be the case with us , and that is perfectly okay . Here's why I'm doing so . Here's a little tip If you're going to go into a situation like that and you're still wanting to lose weight .

Speaker 2 32:25

I've been losing weight through the holidays and I've been pigging out like crazy when we go to family dinners . So how do you do that ? You got to have some self-control and you got to be willing to suffer in the beginning part of the day or before the meal . So if it's lunchtime , let that be your first , maybe your only , meal that day . I don't encourage starving yourself , but if you have a really big meal . A lot of times you're just not hungry again , especially when you've gotten your body used to eating less . So today I had a very protein-heavy breakfast some carbs , very low fat . Overall calories , I think was 535 . So up to this point today I've consumed 535 calories . As long as I stay under 2100 calories , I'm good for today , more than likely .

Speaker 2 33:14

When I go to pig out tonight at dinner and , by the way , when I say pig out , I'm going to load up on protein , I'm going to load up on vegetables and I'm going to eat those first and I'm going to eat as much protein , as many vegetables as I can first . I'm also going to drink a good amount of water . Just fill my stomach up . Then after that I'm not going to worry . I'm going to go get the potato casserole and the cake and I like to take cake , put it in a bowl , pour a bunch of whole milk on top of it , and people are like what is he doing ? It tastes amazing . All these things I'm describing to you having two double quarter pounders in a given day and still losing weight it's because you just got to enter it into the thing , calculate it , and if you can't calculate for it , there are certain common sense measures you can't calculate for it . There are certain common sense measures Front load your protein , front load your volume . Foods like vegetables that are going to be low calorie , high volume . Pig out on those first , eat till you're kind of satisfied , then start going ahead and indulging in the less healthy options , like cake and stuff , and more or less I'm probably going to come out less than 1500 calories today at dinner and that'll be my last meal for the night , and then I'll go into tomorrow . I'll weigh in .

Speaker 2 34:40

And another very important point to the weight loss journey while I do weigh in every day , just because I want to have the data and the metrics , we have got to not get discouraged when the fluctuation on the scale is several pound different in one day . Yesterday I weighed in at 203 . This morning I weighed in at 202 . I promise you , based on my calorie deficit and the plan I've been following , I did not lose a pound of fat between yesterday and today . I lost about 600 calories worth of fat , so a bit more than a tenth of a pound of fat . Right , and I can know that because I calculate day in and day out . I follow the same plan day in and day out so I can know , based on the deficit , about what I lost , fat wise . Yet the scale is showing one pound lower .

Impact of Cardio and Water Weight

Speaker 2 35:28

Water weight fluctuates a lot in a given day . A lot , a lot of times people will couple their goals . So when you go to start eating less food because you want to lose weight , many times people start to exercise and if you haven't exercised in a while , most of the time people hit . What do ? They hit Cardio often and I encourage cardio . Cardio is so good for us , it's good for the heart , it's just good for your body . You'll feel better . If you are having a higher cholesterol , like I was having , it'll help bring those numbers back into tolerance .

Speaker 2 36:00

Cardio is great . Cardio is one of those things that you know you often don't do when you're worried about looks only . But we underestimate how great of a positive impact it has , especially steady state , just like a zone two . You don't have to bust a butt , you just got to get out there . But I caution you if you start dieting and you're in a 500 calorie deficit per day , that's going to put you at around a pound , if not less than a pound , of fat loss per week . You start doing cardio . At the same time , even just 48 hours after your first cardio session that you've had in a long time , your blood volume can start to increase five to 10% . Your overall body's blood volume body's responding to the cardio it just went through and if you continue to do cardio it's going to go up a little bit more from there , and the way that your body produces blood volume is pretty fast .

Speaker 1 37:03

So your blood starts to weigh more .

Speaker 2 37:06

Your blood starts to weigh more . Your blood starts to weigh more , so blood is already going to take about 10% of your body's mass . So if you're 200 pounds , you've got about 20 pounds of blood in you . Let's go say you go hit the streets and you do a two-mile run Monday . You rest Tuesday . Three-mile run on Wednesday You're feeling great . Rest Thursday . Four mile run on Friday .

Speaker 1 37:28

Sounds like what I did in October .

Speaker 2 37:30

You did a lot more than that in October . Your body is going to have more blood volume that Saturday and that Sunday of that weekend , following all your runs , than it did that last weekend , to the tune of about 10% , maybe a little bit more . Yeah , that's two pounds .

Speaker 1 37:46

Yeah , and that's not calculated in the scale .

Speaker 2 37:50

That's not calculated in the scale .

Speaker 1 37:52

The scale only shows the total mass . It's not showing you just fat . Even the ones that say that they show fat . They're not accurately showing fat .

Speaker 2 37:59

So let's hypothetically say you actually did lose one pound of fat in that time frame . Well , you went running . Your body increased the blood volume by about 10% , so about two pounds .

Speaker 2 38:15

Depending on water weight and man . Water weight can fluctuate . So , did you have a lot of carbs yesterday ? Did you not have a lot of carbs yesterday ? Well , that goes into your muscle glycogen . Well , muscle glycogen . For every one gram of muscle glycogen you have three to four grams of water attached to it . So if that gets depleted a little bit , then that could show , you know , a one pound lower difference , even though you didn't lose a pound of fat . All these things go into it . Did you go to the bathroom ? Did you pee ? How much did you pee throughout the night ? How much did you drink ? There's so many things .

Speaker 2 38:51

So when you step on that scale a week later , you're like I've been following a diet , I've been running , I've been doing everything right . I actually feel really good . And then you clock in . You see you weigh a pound and a half more than you did last weekend and you're like what is going on ? This isn't working . It is working . You got to stick with it . Don't stick with it for less than four weeks . After four weeks I would even say possibly , if you can push , if you can be patient enough to go to the six-week mark , do that . After that , look at the results . You should have results If you're actually tracking meticulously , if you're actually being honest with how active you are in whatever given calculator that you're using .

Speaker 2 39:30

There's a lot of different ones . I encourage people to go with more conservative estimates of what their body's going to burn . So if I have three different , there's three different . Mainstream trackers for what your body's going to need in a given day . Mainstream trackers for what your body's going to need in a given day . For me , the high end said 2,800 , the low end said 2,600 . So I go with 2,600 . That's why I cut down to 2,100 . And I'm seeing results .

Speaker 1 39:55

And you've lost how much weight , in what time frame 20 pounds since .

Speaker 2 39:59

So in the last year my high on the scale was 222 . I'm 202 today .

Speaker 1 40:06

When was that ? When was 222 ?

Speaker 2 40:09

I don't remember exactly . It's been in the past 12 months . Okay , so my recent high of 222 , I'm now 202 . So , yeah , it's been working . And I started by saying , well , I'm going to do intermittent fasting and I and , by the way , I lost like five , 10 pounds on that Okay , you'll lose some weight if you do something like keto . In fact , keto you lose like you lose . Don't be surprised if you lose like 20 pounds on keto , like really fast .

Speaker 2 40:37

Your muscle glycogen again . I talked about it earlier . Every gram of muscle glycogen has three to four grams of water attached to it . So if you deplete your muscle glycogen down to like 10% of what it was before because you're just not eating carbohydrates anymore , yeah , I mean , your body will still make muscle glycogen and send it through a process called gluconeogenesis where it takes protein and converts it into muscle glycogen . So there will still be some there , but it'll be heavily depleted from its high . Well , yeah , you know , when I did low carb really really low carb way back in the day I think a decade ago now I went from 221 to 202 within three weeks .

Speaker 1 41:24

Yeah , that's ridiculous .

Speaker 2 41:26

But it did not stay off . It did not stay off because I said well , I've reached my goal , I can have carbs again .

Speaker 1 41:32

No , and that's the thing . When people do these super extreme carnivore , keto , whatever I wouldn't say whole 30 is extreme , but I'll get to that in a minute . But when people eliminate super long time frames of not eating or major food groups , yes you can lose a lot of weight , but the thing is you're going to gain it all back as soon as you go back to a normal way of eating .

Speaker 2 41:55

Which is what you were saying with Ozempic .

Speaker 1 41:57

Yes , right , it is all about people . Everyone wants a quick fix , especially when it comes to weight loss . And there is no quick fix . There are only behavior and habit changes yeah and doing the things that are healthy .

Speaker 1 42:12

So whole 30 I do love a whole 30 it I . I could do whole 30 a lot easier pre-kids and pre just like my current lifestyle

Nutrition and Long-Term Adherence

Speaker 1 42:23

. So a whole 30 would be very hard to do right now for me , and that's hard for me to say because I'm the kind of person that's like I'll do it . But realistically , if I'm going to adhere to something for a long period of time , I need to have and everyone should like any eating plan should include things that you can adhere to over a long period of time and when you eliminate entire groups of food unless you have an allergy , a true allergy to those things , then you should have an eating plan that can include all those things . Now I would say like I love how the way that you've been doing it has made a lot of sense for you , because it's allowed you to continue to eat several of the things that you enjoyed eating .

Speaker 2 43:09

I'm going to have cake tonight . I'm going to .

Speaker 1 43:11

I don't know that there's going to be cake , but there's going to be cake , McDonald's for example , like you enjoy , I haven't eaten McDonald's in probably 15 years , but you love McDonald's , I love McDonald's . So the fact that you're able to eat it now , I think that's good and that's good for adherence for a general population . I also think that one of the downsides of tracking macros is the easier macros to track are the things you can scan which can lead people to eat more processed foods , when our bodies also need micronutrients like vegetables , fruits , in order to operate at their best . So , with protein being a high priority , I would also say making sure that there's , you know , a good .

Speaker 1 43:58

I did a challenge a couple of years ago where it was like eat 30 different types of vegetables or fruits in a week and it's amazing when you first do it to realize like , oh , I only ate 12 . Like how do I get more variety of vegetables and prioritize vegetables and fruits and sprouts and seeds and all of those things that have a lot of micronutrients we need ? There's a belief out there that our bodies , like in the dieting world , that our bodies seek enough protein and so if we're eating a standard American diet like , that's why we overeat , because our bodies are searching to excrete as much protein from the crappy food that we're eating as possible , because we need protein , like that's the one thing you can't really skimp on . But I would also argue , our bodies search for micronutrients as well . So getting the broccoli , the sweet potatoes , the carrots , the strawberries , the apples , the oranges like our bodies need that as well .

Speaker 2 44:57

Yeah , and I don't subscribe to that theory at all .

Speaker 1 45:00

That our bodies are in search of enough protein .

Speaker 2 45:02

Yeah , but I won't get into that right now . Let's talk about Whole30 . Okay , so first things first . I have a lot of good things to say about all 30 . I , when I first step on the scale and I was like I'm obese . I'm 245 at six feet tall . I'm obese , and that's a word I did not want to put on myself . I was like I do not , and I was able to lose a good amount of weight and I did it through the Whole30 . But let me be clear , folks Whole30 is not a weight loss plan .

Speaker 2 45:39

It is a whole food eating plan to get rid of things that are causing inflammation in your body . Eating plan to get rid of things that are causing inflammation in your body and take in things that are known to either eliminate , mitigate or just , you know , reduce inflammation in your body , things like coconut oil . You cook with that , you eat it like fish and salmon and chicken , and the more organic the better , the more farm-raised the better , and you'll see such a difference . You'll see such a difference in how you feel , how you sleep , how you exercise , everything . You'll see such a difference . Your hormones will start coming back into where they should be your cholesterol , all those things .

Speaker 2 46:19

But if you're already kind of like maybe you're skinny fat you try to eat kind of healthy . You also have some fast food every now and again . All these things , whole30 . And again it goes back to do you have a food allergy that you want to eliminate or find ? Whole30 is great for helping people find things that they were reacting very early to and then eliminating those yeah , but you know what whole 30 also did for me ?

Speaker 1 46:51

what ? Because I , like I , never stopped working out , even when I changed my eating plans . So uh , on whole 30 , the only way for me to get enough carbs was through potatoes and sweet potatoes .

Speaker 2 47:06

That gave you SIBO .

Speaker 1 47:07

I ended up having such terrible gastric distress that I had an intervention like a medical intervention . So it was . I realized I have to have rice or something to be able to supplement my carb needs , because if I only do it with these other like I would have so many FODMAPs that it just like I was in constant pain in my stomach . Yeah , from eating just Whole30 like it was prescribed .

Speaker 2 47:37

Yeah , I discovered that I have to have potato chips Right or I'll die Apparently , so Maybe that's hard to discover . Well , I don't want to test the theory . You know what if I do die , if I stop eating ? So I'm not going to stop . I highly encourage the listeners to take on a diet where you do you have a favorite food potato chips , burgers , cake sweets , things like that where you don't say those go out the window . The only possible exception might be soda Cake sweets things like that where ?

Speaker 2 48:10

you don't say those go out the window . Yeah , the only possible exception might be soda . But even then , if you calculate for the soda , you make sure it is measured out . If it says 12 ounces or 20 ounces on the bottle , you put that in the app . If it's a bottle of Pepsi or a can of Coke , you can scan it like the barcode , and just you'll discover with time , as you continue to diet , you continue to meet your calorie goals . You get , you meet the calorie goal or you go under it . You meet the protein goal or you exceed it . You start to discover that the cream and the coffee is not really worth it . I'm down drinking black coffee in the morning .

Speaker 1 48:43

Yeah .

Speaker 2 48:44

Because 50 calories of cream per cup and I like to have at least two cups , that's 100 calories . I only get 2,100 calories . I'm budgeting here .

Speaker 1 48:54

Right , it's like money .

Speaker 2 48:55

It's like money I'm budgeting . I only have so much . Yeah , unlike money , you can't become a calorie millionaire where you can just eat whatever you want

Healthy Weight Loss Strategies and Myths

Speaker 2 49:04

and stay thin . There's a few people out there . Everybody knows somebody , like a distant cousin or something . They can eat as much as I want and they're skinny as a rail . We hate them . No , I'm just kidding , it's not but . But you're , if you're listening , you're probably not that person .

Speaker 1 49:22

And I would say even those people . There's other metrics . Again , someone can look a certain way and they may not be healthy , and they may not be healthy .

Speaker 2 49:31

So , when we talk about weight loss as perhaps the number one goal going into 2025 , set your goal , Set a time frame . You don't have to start January 1st , Even though this episode is going to start January 1st , Even though this episode is going to air January 21st . Did I say 21st or 1st ? You don't have to start at the beginning of the year . That's the bottom line . You can say you know what ? When I was obese , the doctor sat me down and he said I want you to do all 30 . And this was in November of 2017 . And he said so , can you start December 1st ? I said no . Yeah , holidays , all that stuff . I'm like no , he goes . What about January 1st ? I said no . I said March 1st . I don't know why I picked March . First , I wanted to mentally prepare myself and throughout February , I started eating more whole-ish foods to practice getting ready for the whole 30 . Then , on March 1st , we went strict whole 30 .

Speaker 1 50:37

Yeah , we did it for 60 days .

Speaker 2 50:39

I think it was 75 days . It was a while . It was more than 30 .

Speaker 1 50:43

Yeah .

Speaker 2 50:45

And that is where the majority of my weight loss came in . I still I don't think we should use whole 30 for weight loss . It should be for inflammation reduction and allergy detection , all those other things , and just feeling better . I wasn't eating enough protein . I can tell you that just based on what I know how I was eating .

Speaker 2 51:05

Um , I was exercising and I was clearly in a calorie deficit , but I wasn't eating enough protein . That's why I encourage people to track Keep foods you love . Don't just do a wholesale elimination , whether that is eliminating time zones that you allow yourself to eat , whether that's types of foods you know . Psychological studies have found that when people have all or nothing mindsets , they are far less likely to adhere to the diet plan they've made for themselves . If you are addicted to soda , which I've been before now , I just use diet soda On my current diet . I can have diet coke , so I do that . I'm not saying it's good for you , I'm just saying I can have it . If you're addicted to soda , if you say to yourself I cannot have any soda for a year , you're probably not going to stick to that .

Speaker 1 52:03

Yeah , you're setting yourself up for failure .

Speaker 2 52:05

I think you should allow yourself to have some soda . Just limit yourself . Maybe start by saying only two a day , which if you're really addicted to soda , only two a day is like not much , yeah . And then as you get used to that , you're like I've suffered for a while and only two a day . I think I can drop it to one a day . Do that , and if do that and if you can convert to only diet , do that . I'm not saying diet , so it's good for you . There's so many chemicals in it . The artificial sweeteners are . It does have an effect on our body .

Speaker 1 52:34

No , we're not advocating for it as a health food , but it's like if it's helping you make healthier choices in the long term and being able to adhere to that , then then it's kind of like there's a method to the madness behind it Anecdotally me personally , I will say , when I've been drinking a good amount of diet soda pretty regularly for like a week or two , I feel like my hunger levels are higher . Yeah .

Speaker 2 53:03

Anecdotally higher . Yeah , anecdotally , if you are tracking your calories and you are hitting the overall calorie or staying below that limit , you will still lose weight .

Speaker 2 53:17

Yeah , period , so don't worry too much . So there's . I think there's a lot of myths surrounding diet soda . I'm not going to sit here and say it's good for you . There's no evidence to suggest that spikes your blood glucose levels at all . Right , and you consume it . By extension , there doesn't seem to be evidence that it spikes your insulin . So there's so any myths related to insulin and all that it may over time , especially as you just put it into your system and there's just so many chemicals in it that we're not always entirely sure what they do . It may increase your appetite If you are adhering to your calorie goal every day , day in and day out , regardless of how hungry you are at the end of the day . There are definitely days where I go to bed hungry . Don't starve yourself . Nobody should starve yourself . Okay , nobody should starve themselves . But weight loss necessitates that you get comfortable with being a little bit hungry . With a little bit of hunger , you shouldn't be starving , but if you're a little bit hungry , it's probably working .

Speaker 1 54:19

It's like so much easier to not gain the weight Right . It's so much easier in the first place to try and not gain the weight so we don't have to go through it . But at the end of the day , yeah even if we get there yes , there are strategies .

Speaker 2 54:32

To come back , one thing that should help you is putting that six month cap . At the end of six months you're going to go back into maintenance , meaning you'll eat probably 500 more per day . So if you get really good at tracking , you get used to tracking your calories and your macros . By the way , don't worry too much about carbs and fat . When you're in a weight loss phase , make sure you hit or exceed your protein goal . Make sure you hit or are below your calorie goal .

Speaker 2 55:04

When it comes time to exercise again especially you're a man trying to put on muscle then you're going to want to up your carbs , not your protein . Try not to up your fat , up your carbs . We won't get into that . But at the end of six months you can say to yourself this is over . But you actually have to adhere to things . If at the end of six months you haven't lost weight , you weren't in a calorie deficit . Let me say that again If you are meticulously tracking and you are in a calorie deficit and over the course of eight or more weeks , based on your tracking and your adherence and all that , you still haven't lost any weight , you're not in a calorie deficit and you need to down adjust your calories yeah more than likely , you will lose weight yeah more than likely .

Speaker 2 56:00

you actually . If you're truly meticulous , you're weighing out everything you probably will lose weight , and if you don't , that means you're not in a deficit . Your metabolism may not respond correctly . I've heard people say you know , oh , I'm eating 500 calories a day and I'm not losing weight .

Speaker 1 56:19

It's like it's kind of impossible .

Speaker 2 56:22

Yeah .

Speaker 1 56:23

Yeah .

Speaker 2 56:24

Yeah , like physiologically .

Speaker 2 56:26

Right yeah , yeah , yeah , like physiologically . That's just um . Another tip , I think I'll end with this one , especially when you start any given diet plan , you're going to have a calculator that tells you approximately what your daily calorie expenditure is . It's a it's an educated guess based on science . It'll be a ballpark figure . That's probably accurate , maybe not precise , and so you're going to subtract 500 calories from that , or maybe only 300 because you don't want to , or maybe only 200 , what you feel like doing over time . It may be slower weight loss , but it'll be weight loss .

Speaker 2 57:08

There's another calculator out there I want you guys to go punch in numbers on and that's called the basal metabolic rate , the BMR . That's going to spit out a different , much lower number . That number , your basal metabolic rate , is the calories your body needs . If it were at rest , if you were sedentary all day , if you were bed rest and not moving , that's what your body would need In your diet . I highly encourage you , don't go below that number , at least not at first . Don't go below that number , at least not at first . Take that number and you should probably add 50 to 100 calories and not go below that , just to be safe . When people drop their calories too fast , too much . Their hormones get tanked into the ground . It doesn't like they feel awful . Their energy gets tanked . They keep saying they feel just drained .

Speaker 2 58:10

You know , mr beast did a video where he didn't eat for 14 days oh man yeah , right , he's , and he's just said you know , I just felt run down , just no energy , just completely tanked all those things , and of course he lost weight . A lot of it was muscle , a lot of it was actually fat too . But all that to say , take your basal metabolic rate , what your body would need at rest , cover that , cover that , cover that . And then every calorie you burn above and beyond that goes into the weight loss bank . Take it out of the overall picture there and then slowly over time , you'll see that . And if you clock in every day on the scale hopefully it needs to be the same scale every day Go to the doctor's office and it says you're five pounds heavier , don't worry about that , you've got your clothes on , you've probably eaten a meal , all that stuff .

Speaker 2 59:17

It's a different scale . The reason I love the macros first app is because you punch in your numbers and it's an individual plot on a graph over time . But then there's another line that represents the overall trend and that makes me feel really good , because I know that even though today I might be one pound heavier than I was yesterday , I didn't gain a pound of fat overnight , especially not when you're dieting . It's just water weight and that trend line helps mentally kind of even you out and be like , okay , it's not going to look exactly linear if you plot it on a graph , it's the trend over time and I can be confident that four months from now when I end my diet , I will be a lighter , thinner person and I'll have less body fat .

Speaker 1 1:00:07

So we've covered a lot when it comes to weight loss . Really , fat loss is really what we're encouraging people to do , because this is a big goal that people tend to set for themselves at the beginning of the year . So we've given a lot of tips and tools that people can use . What would be your number one takeaway for listeners today ?

Speaker 2 1:00:26

Consistency . If you lack consistency , don't even bother . You've got to have consistency period . It will be very boring , day in , day out , weekend , week out , month in , month out , of hitting the same exact goals every day . You hit or exceed a certain protein number , you hit or stay below a certain calorie number , day in , day out . Forgive yourself when you mess up , don't beat yourself up and don't fall off the wagon . If you have a bad day , get right back on track day in , day out .

Speaker 1 1:01:07

You've got got to be consistent . That's the number one takeaway . Yeah , yeah , I would agree with that . The all or nothing mindset is not going to help you here , and I did an episode with amanda nybert on this about the all or nothing mindset , which we'll link to in the show notes for people to have further listening . But I am a victim of that all or nothing mindset because it's like , oh well , if I eat that one bite of cake , I might as well eat the whole cake and then I'll just start over tomorrow , but I've done way more damage and have less motivation to actually do it tomorrow . So being able to say , oh , you know , I did eat that extra cookie today , but it was worth it because it was what my mom made and and you know it was delicious , and then you're still able to have that mindset of and I enjoyed it and I will move on as opposed to dwelling on it .

Speaker 2 1:01:57

What's even better is when the cake fits within the budget .

Speaker 1 1:02:00

Mm-hmm .

Speaker 2 1:02:01

And you enjoy the snot out of that one piece . I can't manage two pieces of cake , but you can manage one piece of cake and it's within the calorie budget and you're fine . And there may be some days where you sacrifice protein but you still stay under your macro or your calorie . So you know , not every day is going to look perfect , not every day is going to hit every goal , but be as consistent as you can .

Speaker 1 1:02:30

Yeah , absolutely . I think this is a great starter for people as they seek to lose fat into the new year .

Speaker 2 1:02:37

Just remember , nasa is not going to launch a rocket ship into space by just eye measuring it , swagging it and then shooting up into the air . They're going to have precise measurements . They're going to have the best physicists in the world calculating these things . We should at least take some measure of precision to something that is meant to take some precise planning . Don't swag it , don't eye estimate it , don't guesstimate it , punch it in , measure it out , punch it in it here yep sounds good special shout out and thank you to jason , our producer always , and kimberly for having me .

Speaker 2 1:03:19

Hopefully this isn't the last episode that I am on now we'll .

Speaker 1 1:03:25

No , we would love to hear your comments , though . We'd love to know what you think about the episode , what future episodes you would like covered and all of the things . I have a tagline that I end the show with Okay , until next week , stay strong . I like that Good .