Why You Keep Losing Focus and Why Your Old Habits Are Keeping You Stuck

You keep going back to what's comfortable.
And it keeps producing nothing.

That's exactly what Peter did.

In this video, I'm studying John 21 with you and breaking down why Peter, after witnessing the resurrection, went right back to fishing.

Back to the old habits.
Back to what felt safe.
Back to what produced nothing without Jesus.

Sound familiar?

I've been there. Running on the hamster wheel. Doing the things that feel normal instead of the things God is actually calling me to do.

But here's what hit me: Jesus didn't give up on Peter. He showed up on that shore and reminded him of his focus. Three times. "Feed my sheep. Follow me. Stop worrying about everyone else."

And Peter finally changed how he showed up.

In this video, I walk through John 21, Luke 5, 1 Peter 1, and Acts 2 using the COMMA method of studying scripture (Context, Observation, Message, Meditation, Application) and share what God revealed to me about focus, habits, and purpose.

This is the first time I've done anything like this on this channel, and I'd love for you to study scripture with me.

Drop your takeaways in the comments.

I learn from you just as much as I share with you.

Subscribe and share this with someone who needs to hear it today.

I'm Dr. Kimberly Beam Holmes. After a decade transforming marriages at Marriage Helper, I've realized that the greatest tragedy isn't a failed relationship; it's the person who stays stuck and never experiences the fullness of all God intended.

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Transcript

Why Focus Feels So Hard

SPEAKER_00 1:28

If you're anything like me, I can really struggle with focus. Partly because I'm ADHD, but partly because I just want to get things right. I want to make sure that I'm doing the right things in the right way, and that can honestly sometimes make me feel like I'm running on a hamster wheel. I was reading in my Bible last week, and there was a story in scripture that really hit me for a lot of different reasons, one of which was focus, the focus of purpose in life, the focus of what is my purpose in life, and what is God calling me to do. I would love to study this scripture with you and give you the insights that it gave for me, but also invite you afterward in the comments to leave your own insights of what you got from what we go through together. The reason that I want to do this is because I am very intentional about my daily routines. I focus physically, intellectually, emotionally, and spiritually every day on the things that I can do in order to become my best self. And what that means for me is I want to feel the best that I can. I want to show up in the best way that I can. And I want to live life to the fullest. I don't want to become so distracted with the way that life tries to pull me or distractions that come and try and take my focus off of what I know needs to be focused on. I want my life to make an impact. And I think that most of you watching probably do too. And there's a specific person in scripture that also wanted their life to make a big impact that I have been really fascinated with recently. And so today we're going to dive in to John 21, as I invite you to study scripture with me. Now, here's the thing: I do not declare to be any kind of theologian. I would love to go to seminary one day, but I haven't yet. I do have my PhD, but it's not in anything biblically related. I simply just love the Word of God. And one of the things I love about the Word is that it's always there. It's always true. It's always alive. It is living and breathing. It is sharper than any two-edged sword, and it gets to the core of any situation that we may face in life. So a couple of weeks ago at my church, we were doing a sermon series about scripture. And one of the weeks, we specifically talked about how to study scripture, which really inspired me to even do this kind of video in how we can study scripture and me studying scripture with you, you studying scripture with me. So hopefully you'll be able to see some of the ways and the approach that I take to studying scripture, and maybe it can help you. But if you want to see that full video where one of the pastors at my church goes through his process of how to study scripture, then you can see that full video. We're going to link it in the show notes below. John 21. We want to start when we study scripture, thinking about what is the context. In fact, one of the things that they taught at my church was this comma method. So we can use the word comma to guide the way that we can approach and study scripture. So really quickly, I'll go over what each of those letters means. So the C stands for context. We want to understand the context in which the story or the book or the verse, whatever we are reading in scripture, we want to understand the context that it is placed in instead of just taking a verse out of context. O is for observation. What are the things that we observe? What things stick out to us when we read through a passage of scripture? Second, we have, or the first M is for message. What is the message that we can take away from this piece of scripture that we read? Meditation, what are the things that we can meditate on that we have learned? What are the things that really are sticking out to us and hitting our heart? And then finally, the A is for application. So we're going to do an abbreviated version of this today with John 21. So in John 21, what is the context that we're seeing? Jesus has been crucified and he has raised from the dead. And now people are seeing him for the first time. So that is the context that we need to take into John 21. But here's what we read. Afterward, Jesus appeared again to his disciples by the Sea of Galilee. It happened this way: Simon Peter, Thomas, Nathaniel, and the sons of Zebedee, who would be James and John, and two other disciples were together. I'm going out to fish, Simon Peter told them, and they said, We will go with you. So they went out and they got into the boat, but that night they caught nothing. So we see here that the disciples have just been through a whirlwind of an experience. They've seen the man that they believed was the Messiah. They've seen him be crucified. They've been to the tomb to see him resurrecting. And even though Jesus told them this was what was going to happen, they haven't fully comprehended it. And so we're in the middle of them understanding that Jesus has raised from the dead. And in fact, at this point, they've seen him a couple of times, but they are unsure. They're still in this situation and stage, God, what are you wanting me to do? Like, what are the things that I have seen? How am I supposed to understand them? And what do you want me to do now? And that is evidenced by the fact that Peter says, I'm gonna go fish. Because Peter was initially a fisherman. So when I first read this, it reminds me of Luke chapter five, where we see Jesus first call his disciples. And here's what that says in Luke chapter 5, starting in verse 1. One day, as Jesus was standing by the Sea of Galilee, same place, the people were crowding around him and listening to the word of God. He saw at the water's edge two boats left there by the fishermen who were washing their nets. These fishermen were Simon and his brother and James and John. He got into one of the boats, the one belonging to Simon, and asked Simon to go out a little bit from the shore. Then he sat down and taught the people from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, Put out into deep water and let down the nets for the catch. Simon answered, Master, we've worked hard all night and haven't caught anything. But because you say so, I will let down the nets. When they had done so, they caught such a large number of fish that the nets began to break. So they signaled their partners to come in on the other boat and help them, and they came to shore with boats so full that the boats began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus' knees and said, Go away from me, Lord, I am a sinful man. For he and all of his companions were astonished at the catch of fish that they had taken. But Jesus said to Simon, Don't be afraid. From now on, you're going to fish for people. So they pulled their boats up on shore and they left everything and followed him. So this is where Jesus first calls Simon Peter to follow him. And he did it after providing this miraculous provision. Some people in their life, I know me in my life, when I think about my work, if God had just given me so much abundance, so much overflow in the work that I do, I would think that was a sign that he was blessing it, a sign to keep doing that. But instead, what Jesus says to Simon is now you're gonna leave this and follow me. And Simon left it. So let's pick now back up in John 21. So Simon went out and he went back to where he used to go. He didn't know what to do, so he just went back to what felt normal, what felt easy, what felt like the natural thing for him to do. He just went back to fishing. Although the last time he tried to fish, it produced nothing without Jesus. This time he tries to fish and it once again produces nothing without Jesus. Maybe he lost the focus of what God actually wanted him to do. But let's continue on. Early in the morning, Jesus stood on the shore, but the disciples did not realize that it was Jesus. He called out to them, Friends, haven't you any fish? No, they answered. He said, Throw your net on the right side of the boat and you will find some. When they did, they were unable to haul the net in because of the large number of fish. Then the disciple, whom Jesus loved, who is John, said to Peter, It's the Lord. And as soon as Simon Peter heard him say, It is the Lord, he jumped out of the water. He wrapped out his outer clock, our outer garment around him and jumped into the water and he ran to shore to Jesus. When Jesus first called Peter, he had produced nothing. He had no fish. Now Peter has gone through quite a situation. So we have the context of Jesus had just raised from the dead, but Peter also, over the time from when he started following Jesus to where he is now, Peter has tried to walk on water. Peter had and started to sink because he got more obsessed with the wind and the waves than keeping his eyes on Jesus. We also see that Peter tries to tell Jesus, no, you're never going to be hurt. I'm not going to let you die. Peter always wants to be right. He's wanting to prove himself. He's wanting to follow Jesus with all of his might, but a lot of times he gets it wrong. He's trying to produce without understanding exactly what his focus should be. And we see this several times. We also see Peter, where he at the Last Supper, where Jesus comes to him and he's going around and he's washing the disciples' feet. And by the time he gets to Peter, Peter says, Absolutely not. I will never let you wash my feet. I'm the one to wash your feet. But Jesus is trying to teach him something. And so he says, No, no, Simon Peter, I have to do this in order for what I'm trying to do to really happen. To which Peter says, Well, in that case, don't just wash my feet, wash my hands, wash my body, wash all of me. Peter is so quickly changed. And we see this when after the Last Supper, right there in the Last Supper, where Peter says, God, I will never leave you. I will never abandon you. Wash all of me. God, I'm here for you. I'm gonna follow you no matter what. That not even 12 hours later, that Peter denies him three times, says, I don't know this man. I was never with him, because he was scared for his own life. Scared for his own security. He didn't know how to focus on the most important purpose for his life. Jesus had already told him, You're going to be a fisher of men. But Peter struggled with staying focused when the situation around him got crazy. Now, I don't know about you, but that absolutely happens to me. It can be very hard to stay focused when your marriage is hard, when you're parenting, you feel like you can't get a grip on how to be a great parent when work is hard, when it's not producing like you want it to. But maybe you just keep doing the things that feel normal, right? We just keep doing the habits that that we're used to, the habits that we're comfortable with. And they're the same habits that keep us stuck. Because the truth of the matter is, Peter went back to his old habits. When he didn't know what to do, he went back to what was comfortable. He went back to his old habits. One of the things I know from my PhD in performance psychology is habits are simply decisions that we have already made. And our habits determine the abundance, the quality of our daily lives. Our lives consist not only of habits, but a lot of habits. A lot of our daily life is our habits that we choose to have or that we choose to not have. And so one of the things we know that I know is if you want your life to look different, then you need to start changing your habits. Well, Peter went back to his old habits. And guess what? It produced nothing. Once again, because it wasn't what God called him to do. It wasn't what Jesus called him to do. He hadn't taken the new habit. What did that even look like for him? Well, we're gonna find out. And of course, the way that one of the ways that Peter knows it's Jesus is because there was once again an abundance of provision, of fish. But Peter once again leaves it all. I'm sure runs towards Jesus. And Jesus tells them, Bring some of the fish. They end up cooking it. There were so many fish that they didn't know what to do with them. But Jesus said to them, Come and have breakfast with me. None of the disciples dared ask, Who are you? Because at this point they all knew it was the Lord. So Jesus came and ate with them. And then we're going to jump to verse 15. When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these? Now it's not quite clear what he meant by, do you love me more than these? Was he talking about, uh, I have footnotes here in my Bible, and this was one of the things that I wrote in them. Jesus may be asking Peter whether he loves him more than the others dis than the other disciples love him, forcing him to acknowledge his shortcomings as the one who had denied Jesus. But Jesus could also be asking Peter whether he loves him more than he loves his fellow disciples. I don't know. But if I'm reading this, I'm thinking that maybe what Jesus is asking him is Simon, do you love me and what I think of you more than loving what other people think about you? Because Simon consistently acts in a way where it's clear that he cares what other people think about him. And how many times in my life have I cared more about not wanting to offend someone, not wanting to say a hard truth, not wanting to do something that may be uncomfortable because I don't want people to think poorly of me. And I feel like that's a muscle that I am currently trying to do better with. I'm currently trying to flex right now. Because at the end of the day, the most important thing in life is knowing Jesus. And one of the most important things to me in my life is pointing other people to Jesus. And so, what does that look like for me? If I had been in Peter's position after the Last Supper, before the crucifixion, they've taken the person that I've been following. They've taken my boss, maybe we could say my best friend, the person that I've been spending my every day with for the past three years. They've taken this person, they're sentencing him, they're flogging him, they're beating him mercilessly. He's about to carry his own cross, he's dripping with blood, and they're asking me if I've been with him. Am I gonna care what these people think? Or am I going to stand for the hard conviction? And here's the scary part like, how many times do in our life do we maybe not pray out loud because we don't want to offend a person who may be next to us? Or do we not explicitly use the name of Jesus because we are nervous that again, it might offend someone. One of the things I love about my mom is every time, so one of the things we love to do is go to yard sales, and she is absolutely bold in saying to people at the yard sale, hosting the yard sale, whatever, asking them, you know, if especially if they're they've just moved in and that's why they're having the yard sale. Well, where do y'all go to church? And just inviting everyone she knows to go to church. When I even just think about my own life, and I would say I'm a pretty bold person, there are situations I get in that I may be a little too timid. And I wonder if you have ever felt that way. But it makes me feel like I'm in good company because Peter, who Jesus said was going to be one of the leaders in the church, in establishing the church and growing the church, Peter also initially struggled with that too. But Peter becomes bold. But before we get there, here's what we see. Jesus said to Simon, Peter, do you love me more than these? Do you love me more than you care about what other people think about you? I'm reading into that. But that's how that's one of the ways I view it. Yes, Lord, he said, you know that I love you. Feed my lambs, said Jesus. Again, Jesus said, Simon, son of John, do you love me? Simon answered, Yes, Lord, you know that I love you. Jesus said, Take care of my sheep. The third time he said to him, Simon, son of John, do you love me? And Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him for the third time, Do you love me? So Peter said, Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you. Jesus said, Feed my sheep. Very truly I tell you, when you were younger, you dressed yourself, you went where you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go. Jesus said this to indicate the kind of death by which Peter would glorify God. Then he said to him, Follow me. Jesus was reminding Peter of his focus. Peter, feed my lambs, take care of my sheep, feed my sheep, take care of the people who are going to follow me. That is your focus. And yes, one day it's gonna end. You're going to die for what you believe. But follow me. In true Peter fashion, Peter turned and saw that the disciple whom Jesus loved, John, was following them. When Peter saw him, he said, But Lord, what about him? Like, God, what's gonna happen to him? And Jesus answered, If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? You must follow me. Peter continually, continually gets distracted by other people, what other people think, what's gonna happen to other people, what God is calling other people to do. And Jesus is continually bringing him back to right here. It's you and me. It doesn't matter. What does it matter if I've called him to do anything different? I have a plan for you, I have a focus for you, I have a future for you, and I need you to follow me. Stop worrying about everyone else, look to me. That's why he ended up sinking. He took his eyes off Jesus and he began to sink. Jesus is saying, keep your eyes on me, follow me. Stop letting all the opinions and cares of everyone else in the world distract you and follow me. Here's what I love Jesus knows that Peter has a tendency to be led by emotions and fear. And Jesus is telling him to stay focused. Jesus also. Reminds Peter of his original calling to leave the fish and to follow him. Now here's what I love. Peter wrote two books that we have in our Bible, first and second Peter. So at this point, that's where the scene kind of closes with Jesus and with Peter, at least right there. We know from this point forward that Jesus ascends into heaven. This is where, so after the Gospels end is where the book of Acts picks up. Acts is where Jesus ascends into heaven, and then there's the 40 days until Pentecost. And then at Pentecost, we see the church skyrocket. We see people start to come to know Jesus and follow Jesus and to be baptized. And this is where Peter gets bold. Peter finally stands up. He speaks boldly, he shares his faith. And because of him doing that, on one day, 3,000 people begin to follow Jesus. And the church begins to grow from there. And then he writes 1st and 2 Peter after that. Way after that. But I love after after having that context of Peter and his experience with Jesus, we then enter into, I think, a different understanding and level of what he says in 1 Peter 1. In all of this, you greatly rejoice. In all of the trials that you go through and everything that you experience, you greatly rejoice. Though now for a little while you may have to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith, of greater worth than gold, which perishes, even though refined by fire, may result in praise, glory, and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen him, you love him. And even though you do not see him now, you believe in him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the end result of your faith, the salvation of your souls. In verse 7, these have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith, which is of greater worth than gold. How many times did Peter leave the gold? At least twice. He left the bundle of fish, the miraculous catch of fish, so much so that we're sinking the ships, he left it. He left it again after the resurrection when Jesus said, follow me. Peter knows what it's like to experience trials. He left Jesus, turned his back on him, came back to Jesus and was reconciled with him. He experienced trials of many kinds. These have come so that the proven genuineness of your faith of greater worth than gold, which perishes, which he knows, because he saw Jesus face to face, it may result in praise and in honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Peter experienced this and believed it so wholeheartedly that he did die for it, but wanted us to know it, and says that even though you and I have not seen him with our own eyes, we love him. And even though we don't see him now, we believe in him and are filled with inexpressible and glorious joy. Peter walked away from everything he knew, from all the wealth that the world could have tried to give him. He was tested. I guess you could, I don't know, you I guess you wouldn't say Jesus tested him, but like Jesus gave him a bunch of wealth and then said, follow me. And Simon went. Simon Peter went. He followed him and he left it all behind. Because his focus was supposed to be on Jesus and not on just the things that Jesus did for him or the provision that he had in his life. And so we see that Peter begins to change his habits. We see that Peter begins to change how he shows up. Instead of being wishy-washy and continuing to go back and forth of caring what people think about him or wanting to be led by his emotions, in Acts we see that he changes how he shows up. In Acts chapter two, the Holy Spirit comes down. Uh, they get the Holy Spirit in them. We see in verse 14 is when we first see Peter stood up with the eleven. He addressed the crowd, the people who were saying things that Peter likely would have run from before. People were making fun of them. People were saying, these people must be drunk. The people who are talking about Jesus and they're speaking in tongues. There was a lot of crazy things that happened in Acts chapter 2, which we won't get into right now. But it was amazing. It was like the Holy Spirit coming for the first time. And they were, they were like making fun of Peter and the disciples that this was happening to. But instead of Peter running away this time, Peter stands up and he says, Let me explain this to you and listen carefully to what I say. These people are not drunk, as you suppose. It's only nine in the morning. No, this is what was spoken by the prophet Joel. And he goes on and he shares all of that. He says, Fellow Israelites, listen to this. Jesus of Nazareth was a man accredited by God to you by miraculous wonders and signs, which God did among you through him, as you yourselves know. This man was handed over to you by God's deliberate plan and foreknowledge. And you, with the help of wicked men, who were the people who had put Jesus to death, uh, like the Sanhedrin and the chief priests and all of those people, you nailed him to the cross, but God raised him from the dead, freeing him from the agony of death, because it was impossible for death to keep its hold on him. Peter preaches. And by the time he gets to the end of it, he says, Repent and be baptized, every single one of you, in the name of Jesus, for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. With many other words, Peter warned them and he pleaded with them, save yourself from this corrupt generation. And those who accepted his message and were baptized were about th and about 3,000 were added to their number that day. Peter changed how he showed up. He gained confidence in knowing what God had called him to do. He began to move forward. He began to do the things healing a lame beggar, speaking to onlookers. He began the things that he may have backed down from before because he didn't know if it was right or what other people would think of him, or if he was doing the right thing. We began to see him become steady. We begin to see him become steady. We begin to see him become the kind of person that Jesus called him up to be. Keep your focus. So going back to our context, observation, message, meditation, we shared the context. I gave you my observation and my method, the things that were sticking out to me as I was reading John 21 was, huh, these stories sound similar to things that I read in Luke chapter 5. These sound similar to other things that I've read, and being able to put those pieces together. And the message for me, and maybe this might apply to you right now. The message is stay focused. Kimberly, stay focused. And when you don't know what to focus on, focus on me. What does it mean to focus on Jesus? At the very least, spend time with him, study his word, and tell others about who he is and what he has done. If I don't know anything else to do in my life, I know I can do that. I know I can do that. And so the application for me is just that. What does this look like in my life right now? I'm gonna, I'm gonna be honest with you. Like I have been for the past couple of years really thinking about God, what is it you want me to do? Am I doing what you want me to do? I can't say that I have a perfect answer for that. And so I think that's part of why I really identify with Peter. Sometimes I feel like I'm really back and forth. But I got a lot of comfort from seeing that even someone like Peter, who Jesus was close to, who Jesus trusted, like he didn't, he didn't always understand it either. But in his pursuit of seeking Christ, it became more and more clear. So for me, my habit, spending time in the Word every day, prioritizing prayer, ensuring that I am making space to listen to what God is calling me to do is of key priority. But I'd love to know what it is for you. Maybe you liked this. Hopefully, you got some value of it. This is the first time I've ever done anything quite like this. So I would love to know. What did you take from studying scripture with me? And what can I take from studying scripture with you? I would love to know what your key takeaways were from talking about Peter, talking about John 21, Luke 5, 1 Peter 1, and Acts 2. And see what takeaways you had. I love how scripture can speak differently to people because it has different facets to it. So I love learning from you just as much as I love sharing with you as well. And hey, if you enjoyed this and would like to see more of what we're doing here on this channel, be sure that you subscribe and maybe even share this video with someone who you think could benefit from it. Until next time, stay strong.